For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Chronic IBS, Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Monday, 14 March 2011

Feeling Like I am at the End of the Road...

After yet another wheezy and tiring day, I am really starting to wonder what is next. When am I going back in again this week? What is going to happen between now and next Wednesday when I can see my consultant in Birmingham and what can he do about everything. My symptoms have been especially irritating just lately and I think what is bugging me most is the fact that I thought we had controlled this or were at least some of the way towards it. Right now, I need anywhere between 5mg and 40mg of pred a day just so that I don't end up in hospital. My peak flow is seldom over 250 l/min and I can't actually remember the last time I didn't need my nebuliser for a whole day. I am in pain. I am exhausted and I am actually feeling at times like maybe I should just give up and let this disease kick me about. Then I get angry with myself for feeling that way.

We have tried so many different kinds of drugs, and they have all done at least SOMETHING, but the problem is, it just doesn't ever seem to work well enough, even when your repeat has 18 items, and you have more medical devices around you than your typical hospital ward. Since having my nebuliser, things have been a bit better, I am down from 2 hospital runs a week (probably staying at least overnight at least each time) to just the one a week, with a 50/50 chance of being let home, depending on who is on at the time, but I am finding it very hard to get through the day and I feel so weak and tired pretty much all of the time.

I have lost so much weight recently and my skin seems to be hanging off me, unable to tone as it is so stretched and damaged by the prednisolone and other drugs. I am always tired and sleep is hard to come by, especially when my chest is bad, so I do feel quite cornered by the whole thing, I must admit. My friends all worry about me as they are watching me get worse right in front of them, they have wondered when they see me, will it be the last time they ever will. Every attack is scary and you always wonder, "Is this it?", and you don't want to face it. I think that is the problem, we know my asthma is out of control, in fact it is wildly out of control. Even Dr Pike has admitted it. How do we bring it back?

Loves
Wendy xx

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comment. I will review it as soon as possible!

Labels

ABG (2) acceptance (5) Adventures (1) Alphonse (2) Ambulances (5) Amusement (1) Angry (3) Animals (2) Another Day In Midgar (2) Appointment (1) Art (4) Asthma (22) Asthma Attack (12) Asthma UK (2) Awareness (2) Bad Attitudes (1) Bass (1) Benefits (3) Birthdays (3) Blogs (2) Blood Pressure (1) Books (1) Bucket List (1) Busy Day (2) Calming (1) Catherine (2) Childhood (2) Chocobo (1) Christmas (4) Cleaning (2) Close Calls (1) cold (1) Comforter (1) Compensation (2) Creativity (1) Cruelty (1) Custody (1) Cute (1) death (3) Debt (2) Depression (4) Design (1) diary (1) Disability (1) Disgust (1) Disney (1) Distraction (2) Doctors (4) documentary (1) Dr Pike (1) Dreams (1) Drugs (1) DWP (1) Dye (1) Eating Patterns (1) ESA (1) Exhaustion (3) fair share (1) family (1) Films (1) Final Fantasy 7 (5) Flu (2) Fluid (1) Food (1) Friends (7) Gaming (2) Gizmo (2) glass half full (3) goodbye (1) GP (5) guidelines (1) Guiniea Pigs (6) Guitar (1) Hair (1) happiness (6) haters (1) Help (1) HND (2) home (3) home use (1) Honesty (3) Hope (4) Hospitals (8) Housework (1) Human Nature (1) Illness (5) Infection (5) inspiration (1) Instincts (1) Joke (1) JP (2) Judy (1) Labas (1) Life (2) lost cause (1) love (1) Luke (1) Lungs (3) Lush (1) Me (2) Medication (7) Memories (1) Mike (1) Mind (1) MSN (1) Music (6) My Past (1) Nathaniel (1) Nebuliser (8) Needles (1) neglect (2) Neighbor (2) new look (2) New year (1) NHS (2) Noise (5) Omen Shadow (2) One day's supply (1) Organ Donation (1) Pain (3) Patch (1) PDSA (1) Poem (1) Positivity (1) Pred (3) quotes (1) Rachael Wakefield (1) Rachy (1) Random ideas (1) Rant (1) Recovery (7) reinvention (2) Reporting (1) Routines (1) sad (1) salmonella (1) scared (1) Sean (1) Selfishness (1) Sephiroth (4) Sephy (3) Simon's Cat (1) Sims 2 (1) Sleep (6) Sorting it Out (1) Spite (1) Steve (1) Store Room (1) success (1) Support (2) Survival (4) Tattoos (1) tears (1) Technology (1) Temparature (1) Thank You (4) The Crow (1) Therapy (1) Thoughts (1) Thrash (1) Tired (1) Toys (1) Transformers (1) Transplant (1) Veins (1) Vomiting (1) warnings (1) West Midlands Ambulance Service (2) winter (1) work (1) Year (1)