I've been away for a few weeks in terms of blogging, maybe it's because there has been so much going on around here that I have found it hard to keep up with and just needed a few weeks to clear my head and get through some rather difficult days. No one ever said that life was supposed to be easy and it is true that if we want something we have to pay for it in our own effort, blood, sweat and tears. I think I may have shed my share over the last few weeks and basically I am still kind of reeling from some of it.
I'll start with something good because its always nice to have something positive to talk about. My bunny, Riza, gave birth to her babies 3 weeks ago today. There were no complications or problems although there was a baby that was smaller than the others and was born sadly dead. We think that one was the runt of the litter which is a shame really. The other 6 kits are doing really well and I have possibly chosen the one (maybe even 2) that I would like to keep. Once they're old enough the others will be going to new homes where they will live lives of love and friendship I'm sure. I call them all "little fluffies" because they are all just fluff and are incredibly adorable. Riza has been a terrific mother and has actually become more social since being a mother. Things are going well and it makes me feel warm inside to know my animals are happy and healthy. The guinea pigs are all doing really well and it's amusing to watch Phoenix and Miles run around the cage, barely able to contain their happiness!
Unfortunately my health hasn't been as fortunate and happy. Since October last year, I have been getting almost constant chest infections in my lower right lobe. Basically the other day, the doctors couldn't hear anything low down on that side and I have yet another pneumonia blooming down there. It's not something I am happy about admittedly but it does explain why I have been so tired, apathetic and my appetite is lower than usual. We are at a loss on where to go from here and there could still be a risk that I could end up losing that part of my lung if it becomes more hassle. This worries me a lot because not only could it affect my breathing big time, but it is a HUGE risk for someone like me to be put under an anaesthetic as respiratory depression could become a huge issue for me.
I have managed to have my Gastroscopy/Colonoscopy procedure. Basically these are highly invasive procedures so I am a glad I was sedated and only remember some parts because I really wouldn't want to remember the whole thing! The things I remember were going in to the room, lying on my left side and having Sephy lying on my right side and the nurse making sure I kept hold of him! I also remember when the scope hit my gag reflex and I started being sick everywhere. Not pleasant and I think they had to give me more sedation as a result! I then remember waking up still in the room, wondering why I was wearing an oxygen mask and not the nasal cannula I had fallen asleep with and being taken to the ward to recover, a nurse worrying because my SATs were low and having the mask strapped back on to my face, I fell asleep for a while before I was allowed to go home. Natt stayed overnight with me to make sure I was alright and not a danger to myself. I think I spent about 2/3 of the day sleeping.
Natt has taken over as my carer full time and he's doing a really good job of it. He really comes in to his prime when it comes to overcoming my stubborn nature. I don't know what happened or how exactly, but on Wednesday, I was really sick and needed help and he overruled my "I'm fine..." routine and got the paramedics in and me taken to the hospital to get treated. It wasn't particularly nice, but while I was coming round, having a game of Smash Up really entertained me and made me forget if only for a little while that I was there because of my health. I think I have slept better these last few nights after being treated than I have in some time. Its a pain in the ass at the best of times, but I know and am confident in that when the times comes, Jace will be more than capable of taking over and he'll be great at the job.
My relationship with Jace just seems to go from strength to strength, despite any obstacles we face, we love spending time together and when we get that time, it really means something special to me. Even if we just end up sleeping or watching TV, that's OK by me. As long as he's there and as long as I can cuddle up and kiss him and feel safe in his arms. He brings out the best in me and I am confident enough to smile and be myself again. Simple, I'm happier than I have been in a long time and nothing can ever take that away from me.
Sorry for delay in posts, I will be getting back to normal with that soon. I promise.
4 years ago