For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Chronic IBS, Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Spring!

Spring has well and truly sprung here and there are even flowers in my garden. Its now that I can see the scope and sheer size of what I have to work with here. Thanks to a very kind neighbour, I now have proper hutches and runs for the animals (Loki is enjoying being an outdoorsy bunny, the piggies aren't so keen on being outdoors so they're staying inside with me but they LOVE having more space to run about). I think all of us are really seeing the long term benefits of moving, even if the move itself was a logistical nightmare! Its true, you never know just how much crap you own until said crap has to be shifted from place to place. Maybe its the fact that it's the warmer weather or the fact that I am now living in a home that I don't feel scared or threatened in anymore, but I feel more like the old me as the time passes. Maybe I was skeptical at first about the move, it was a heck of a change and I think it was one that had to happen because I was so depressed that I didn't even see how depressed I was feeling until it was nearly too late. My old place was fine but towards the end of my time there, I was restricted on how I could live there. I couldn't use my kitchen

I have mostly unpacked now and just have a few boxes left in storage, otherwise, I can say with certainty that I am unpacked and am living in my happy home. The weird thing is, while I was unpacking, I never noticed how much I was doing and it took me ages to get the place how I like it. Of course now comes the part where I have to maintain it and keep it to the standards that I have put upon myself. I don't mind doing bits of housework. This is all that is left to unpack now, considering that there used to be boxes as far as the eye could see, this is a vast improvement and the few boxes left, I know roughly what's in there. I am house-proud and I find cleaning cathartic, but sometimes I will admit that I push my body too hard and my reward is usually a wheezy chest needing nebs. It's OK though because my home is how it should be. Clean and tidy. Something I couldn't seem to achieve at the old place, maybe it was something in the air (actually there was a lot of damp in the air from way before I lived there) that made me feel more and more like giving up. Its weird but every time I go in to that little room, it gets more tidy and things start making their way to proper places. Its only a little space (just small enough to not be classed as a 2nd bedroom but could easily be used as one)

I guess it isn't important now. I've been in my bungalow for 4 months now (I can hardly believe it myself) and I love being here. There's something nice about waking up and not thinking "What is my neighbour going to do THIS time?" or having their music perforate any peace and quiet you had. Abbeydale isn't in itself a horrible place. Its just a tough place for someone who is sensitive to some things and more likely to suffer due to stress and for someone who values things like privacy and not hearing a street full of kids screeching like banshees all summer. I think that where I am now is a lot more suitable to me and and I am definitely a lot better off here. For one, I can get around this place so much easier and its easier to keep clean tidy and fresh. A better home environment is good for me and it's good for the animals as well. I think they were also suffering at the psycho hands of my neighbour and they knew that it was affecting me to that point.

Funny, looking back at a blog from this time last year, I was making plans of home improvements, new furniture and redecorating. I guess that when you look back on it, I did get a home upgrade. Just not in the way we originally thought. Maybe this is one of those moments where you realise that you went through hell and came out smiling. 

Loves
Wendy xx

Sunday, 3 April 2016

Justice for Baby

Very rarely do I ever come across something that shakes me to the core. Being an animal lover for all of my life means that I have infinite time for our furry, feathered or scaley friends. My pets aren't just animals to me. They are my family. They have the same level of love and attention as I would want to get myself and they are happy and well cared for. They are loved. But they are lucky. Not all animals are fortunate enough to find homes where they are treated not as subservient but as family members in their own right. Its horrible to think that the UK, a nation who are supposed to be known for their love of animals, is seeing more and more animal crime and abuse.

In the UK if an animal is abused and the perpetrator is taken to court, the sentences handed down are so lenient and often with "suspended sentences" the criminals are basically told that if they're a good boy/girl for a little while, they will avoid prison completely. I think this isn't right. I really don't believe in suspended sentencing anyway, especially in cases where either a person or animal was seriously harmed or killed. It's too soft an approach and it just sends out the clear message that even if you do something that is so awful, you'll get a slap on the wrist. People don't take it seriously and I think they have learned that they can be as inhumane towards an animal as they please and get one of these weak "sentences".

No case illustrates how wrong this is more than the sad story of a bulldog named Baby. You may have heard Baby's story already since it went viral last week. Baby's last few months were torture at the hands of the humans she thought would love her and keep her safe. In the videos online you see the shocking way that Andrew and Daniel Frankish, of Redcar, pick her up and throw her repeatedly down a flight of stairs while laughing and joking about what they were doing. Picking her up by the ears to "make it scream some more" or head-butting her against the walls. Standing on her chest and using her as a trampoline while the poor dog lay submissive and still obedient towards these thugs. This was all filmed and 3 months later, Baby was put to sleep due to her losing the use of her back legs (those last few months must have been so painful for her, having had a spinal injury myself that was left untreated, I know first hand how hard that can be). 2 years later and the memory chip containing the footage was found on a supermarket floor, the RSPCA and police got involved and the lads both got suspended sentences and 6 month tagging/curfew.

These two were defended by their mother who said that they were "fucked" on drugs and that they didn't know what they were doing. The fact that they actually filmed the attack on Baby and kept the memory card and footage shows that they not only knew what they did but they were probably proud of themselves for doing so. Keeping the videos as some kind of sick trophy to relive the moment where they were "big men" and attacked a defenseless pet. Obviously the boys are pretty much going to spend the rest of their lives looking over their shoulders in case someone decides to give them a beating but they aren't the victims here.

Baby's case wasn't exactly isolated and there have been numerous incidents of animal abuse and the poor sentencing of judges that almost make it OK to abuse an animal. As usual Facebook has been used positively to promote the plight of Baby and to call the authorities to drag these scumbags back in to court, get them proper sentences and use this case as a landmark to point towards tougher consequences for animal abusers. If you would like to get involved please click here to join the Facebook group as well as signing the petitions here and here.

Please help us get justice for Baby and stop something this horrible from ever happening again.

Loves
Wendy xx

Saturday, 2 April 2016

Turning Around.

Sometimes, I get so sick of people telling me how "easy" my life is. Especially when people assume that it's easy being disabled. Let's be clear about on this and I know many people would agree when I say it. Being disabled is hard. Being disabled is sometimes incredibly frustrating. Being disabled means that crossing paths with ignorant people can be the worst thing ever. Someone once said that due to my illnesses, which mean that I'm on ESA instead of being made to look for work, that they were jealous. How can someone be jealous of this?! It's sick! I have missed out on things due to my conditions and have also lost a lot of things I enjoyed. I have days when I can go out but sometimes even something as simple as getting on a bus can start a huge confrontation, usually due to lazy drivers and parents with buggies that shove you out of the way (not all of them are like it but I have met my share). 

And before ANYONE starts. I am NOT saying that babies should be thrown off of buses. If a wheelchair and a pram are waiting at the same stop, the person who arrived first should get the place, unless there is room for both. If a wheelchair wanted to get on and there were already prams there and they couldn't be folded, then fine. I can wait. All I am saying is that if you can hold your child and theres a wheelchair to get on, please be considerate and DO NOT shove someone out of the way to barge past them. It's rude. Oh and to be told that "that thing on [my] face is disgusting..." yeah... Its keeping me alive whereas some people and their ignorant attitudes are probably sending them to an early grave.

When you have brittle asthma its fair to say that there are days where you really can't do very much. Heck recently I have been having a period of that and it drives me mad because I am an active and very independent person. I choose to live in a home which is clean and fresh. I choose not to live like a slob. I choose to not let aspects of my life affect others because I was brought up better than that. Obviously I do have bad days and I get really annoyed with them because I know there is work needing to be done and I need to get up and do it, even if I have no energy or am in pain because who else is going to do it for me? It may seem harsh but that is how it is and it is sometimes harder work on my body than I ever realise.

When I get up in a morning, I start my days with food and the first fistful of tablets of the day. Followed by liquid meds and nebuliser meds. Then I can get up and get going and do whatever it is I do some days. A large proportion of my day is spent working on sewing projects, gaming and playing with my pets. Loki has recently (thanks to the kind donation from next door, seriously, everyone is amazing here!) moved outside in to an outdoor hutch/run. He loves it! It's warm and cozy at night and during the day he has all the room he wants to just be a bunny. This means that he is in a more suitable environment and hes a lot happier as a result. That to me is a sign of owning a pet and doing it responsibly. I do go out to him daily with food/water/greens and hay so he is not starving. None of my pets are given less than complete love, care and compassion.

These last few days I have been really suffering from my infection and the fact that I have been working daily to keep my home to the standard it should be kept to. The people who lived here before didn't give it the care and attention it needs and as a result there was a sadness in the air when I first moved in, probably because the people who had it before me used it as some kind of squalid pit with it's own personal fly-tip. I fell in love with the bungalow from the moment I saw it and wanted to live here.  Now I am spending time sorting it out and making a home for myself. It looks nice already but there are still some things that need to be sorted and a few things that need to go up before I consider it finished. It's a long project to come to life but I do take great pride in keeping my home neat, tidy and keeping that pesky dust down! I have become quite adept at wheelchair hoovering! So I have no excuse to live in a filthy home. Then again, I am of the belief that no one has the excuse to live in a dirty shit-pit (excuse my language).
 
I loved the quiet surroundings and the fact that the people here are just so much nicer than my old neighbours. I started working on a cross stitch project when I knew I was moving. It was the last thing I started at my old place and the biggest thing I've finished here in my new home. I did a cross stitch of Sephiroth from Dissidia, it took me 3 months of hard work. 3 months of nights spent curled up with it and now it is framed and mounted. I felt an amazing sense of pride when I put the finished work in to the frame. Even more so when people started seeing it out on display and saying how amazing the piece was to watch it grow. I did take photos and they are on my Instagram page of the process, along with other pictures of the things I do in the place I do them. I like to live my life despite having things that make it harder for me to do so and I hate it when people think that because I am disabled that I won't enjoy going out or socialising. I am still here and I am making the best of my lot here because I have to. I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself forever now can I? I like to make the most of the days I can do things and on the days where I just don't have the energy, I try and give myself things to do so that I don't stagnate or get in to a routine of not doing much.

Its been since moving that my whole attitude has been turned around. If someone had said to me last year that I would have moved in to a new home and found myself incredibly happy once more, I would have thought "Yeah. OK..." but look at how things have turned around for me!

Loves
Wendy xx

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