For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Crohns Disease (my IBS was rediagnosed as Crohns), Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I have recently also been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea (which makes me stop breathing in my sleep) I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen and CPAP.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Monday, 30 April 2012

Getting On With Life...

I have been quiet again recently, not because I feel antisocial or taciturn, but more because I have been just trying to give myself a bit of time to rest, recover and make sure everything is in order. I think I knew I was clinging on by the skin of my teeth by Thursday, but me being me, I really didn't want to accept it. I keep telling myself that there is worse out there and I even got a little tough on myself. It did leave me exhausted but all I wanted to do was help Becky as she hadn't been too well herself. Admittedly her infection is different to mine and is clearing up, mine isn't and it was just getting more out of hand.

I woke up on Thursday having not slept well and in pain. I wanted to get through it all and then I could be focused and ready to take care of my friend for a bit. I'd been out of breath for most of the day, but by the time I was ready to say "Right, its happening" I was too exhausted to really care too much. It turned out that not only did I have another case of pneumonia (we have no idea now where it keeps coming from, but we have some suspicions) coupled with pleurisy. Both are unpleasant as they are, but together the combination is nothing short of agonising. Every breath feels like you're being hit, and even resting a hand on the area is excruciating.

Even the smallest of tasks is exhausting right now (I have almost dozed off twice now while writing this entry) so forgive me if this update is only short. I hope to do another one later, maybe once I feel less worn out.

Wendy xx

Thursday, 26 April 2012

New Works...

Just lately I have been getting back in to drawing creatures from the Final Fantasy universe. I love the designs of some of these monsters and I find them entertaining to draw (but they're not nearly as fun if you have to battle against them!) and I took a look at some of the original design works and how the ideas for these creatures came about. My art is one thing that has kept me stimulated recently and has helped me not to think about things that aren't particularly nice.

The biggest challenge of my drawings has been this piece. It is called "Bizarro Sephiroth". In the game, FF7, the character Sephiroth manages to infuse himself with the planet's energy, creating a god-like creature that can destroy the planet single handedly. What I loved about the design of this creature was the way it kind of reminded me of the Alien films as well as some of the creatures you find typically in fantasy games and programmes. The main creature dominates the image but is backed up by the smaller, almost parasitic creature that has latched on to it's head. In the game, you had to beat the individual parts separately in a certain way if you were to have any chance of surviving to the next battle.

The first time I saw this guy, I must have been about 13/14 at the time and he really shocked me and made me think "What the hell?!". He was really weird and hard to fight and then when he died, I knew that there was still one more battle to go. That feeling I got when I finally beat this guy was immense and I was smiling for days afterwards.

This drawing was one that took me a long time to do. First I had to convince myself that I could do this, (my confidence had slipped greatly and I had been tracing works, but not uploading them as I was ashamed of myself) a rather massively detailed undertaking, as well as just finding just the right materials to use. I sat, pencils in hand and worked for about 2 hours to produce this thing! Shading, erasing and reshading again and again to get just the right effect. I wanted to capture the weird yet wonderful feeling this creature gave me as well as captureing the imposing presence it has. I was glad I gave this guy a go really.

The second piece (which was a redo of a piece I had previously drawn but was just not content with) was of the creature's second form. "Safer Sephiroth". This thing appeared straight after the first and was actually the harder boss of the two, the name was something that I thought was rather misleading but there we go. It was like a 5 winged Seraphim and it was absolutely magnificent when it descended from the sky and in to the battlefield.

The original (Left) was only on A4 size paper and I don't think I was able to capture just how grand and incredible this thing really was. So I decided to retry drawing him,  this time on a larger piece and with a different medium (using black sketching pencil rather than crayola colouring pencils) and I was happily working for over 2 hours again on something that when it was complete, really made me think "WOW!" and really inspired me to keep drawing. The new version (Right) was what I eventually came up with, a more magnificent creature that seemed to have a bigger presence and it seemed all the more impressive with the feathered wings and the flowing hair.

Eventually what I would like to do with these pieces is paint them individually on canvasses and have them as an art installation for the room. I would also like to try and recreate some of the Jenova creatures as well as they were such an integral part of the game. Its a challenge that I believe I am up to.

Wendy xx


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