I'm sorry for not being active again recently, still struggling with a myriad of problems which are likely to be clashing with each other and generally leaving me with little energy and as such, I've been a bit reclusive recently. It's been a tough few weeks and we're still none the wiser as to what is making this be the case. Things are getting harder and I'm finding myself not quite as energetic as maybe I should be. I've had 5 blood tests already this year and the anaemia is getting worse rather than getting better, despite being on both folic acid and ferrous sulphate. It's all a bit puzzling really.
I'm going to be kept busy though with a lot of appointments with specialists, scans and anything else they want to throw me in to. It's a bit daunting. Maybe it's that part of me that doesn't want to know what the cause of this is in case it's something that can't be fixed. I'm all for finding out what's going on, knowing the enemy so to speak, but I am dreading the all too often mumbled line of "there's nothing we can do." Knowing that something is there and it can't be made better is the most frustrating thing and I can't even describe as to why. I think it's because of the preconceived notions that you see the doctor, get a pill or injection or something and then magically you're well again. OK so that hasn't happened in my case as it's a lot more complicated than that but you get then gist of it.
I wish there was some cure for all of this.
I really do.
Not just for my sake but for everyone else who has the same conditions I have, because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (if I had one, don't really have time for hating people, if I don't like them, I simply don't acknowledge their existence, why waste my time and energy?)
I've been keeping my spirits up with the usual fun of gaming, cards and anime. I also recently started learning MMD or MikuMikuDance, a 3D animation software where you can download characters, "motion" data and other things and make your own music videos. It's fun because you can do pretty much anything if you can imagine it. I have a number of YuGiOh characters who have been my test subjects and I even uploaded some of the results to YouTube too. What's fun about MMD is that you can set the stage and just let yourself run wild. My best animation so far has got to be my video for "Calc." (originally a Miku song which was covered using Kaito instead) in which I made 5Ds protagonist Yusei Fudo the star, along with his favourite Stardust Dragon (that dragon was awkward but I got it flying eventually), his trademark red motorcycle and a really awesome looking guitar too. I'll probably even revisit it in time and tweak the animation slightly but I am pleased with how the video turned out. I also have another project ongoing with the Dark Magician Girl but that is staying under my hat for now!
My asthma has been awful as usual but I'm trying to keep things from getting too difficult (albeit that is a little tough). I'm hoping that if we manage to fix a few of these little problems, we may be able to edge out the bigger problems a little. Got to hope that's the case anyway.
Loves
Wendy xx
