For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Chronic IBS, Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Taking Pride in my Work

One of the worst things about owning models is when something happens to damage them. A mishap can spoil something in seconds and the hard part can be repairing and restoring the model to what it was when I brought it. It's worthwhile, but its even better when you can make a custom job that actually looks better than it did when you first got it. When I got my "Potion" model of Sephiroth, I was happy with my purchase but I did always feel that there was something off about it. When it got knocked off the side (and the culprit refuses to this day to admit that it was them who knocked it) and the sword was broken, I was furious. These models aren't exactly commonplace in the Western market and well, finding one where I wasn't paying through the nose for it wasn't easy.

I had to start by gluing the model back together (repairing the base and sword) and then I had to file down the place where the parts had been glued (usually a tell-tale sign of a repair is the seam where the glue piles up, especially if there have been multiple repairs). I then did a repaint job on both the wing and sword. Then I thought, why stop at at that? I then did some more work on the hair, turning it from off white to gleaming silver. To see the result of my work makes me feel proud of the fact that I spent the last few days doing this.

It's nice to write about something nice that I have done and this is only a little snippet because I wanted to show the people who read my blog this thing that I have been doing. Besides, its nice to channel my energy in to something that has a result that can be enjoyed for years and years, plus it's unique and extra special.

Loves
Wendy xx

New Blog Address.

First off, I have changed my blog address as there have been some people stalking my blog and using it to make nasty comments or just generally winding people up. Got to say, that is not on and I won't tolerate any kind of bullying. My journey still ongoing and my blog reflects that. I won't let anyone bully either me or anyone I care about in to hiding because it's immature and I wouldn't want anyone to think that they had won over us. I haven't retreated. I have just moved. 

I've had a few rather tiring days recently, no other reason that my chest has been playing holy hell and the cold weather hasn't helped it. This time of year is a bastard for us asthmatics. It's cold, wet and miserable and our lungs seem to dislike this intensely. Because of this, all I have wanted to do is sleep. Which admittedly hasn't been particularly interesting. I don't think you would want to read a blog that said "Got up, did nothing really, went back to sleep." because let's be frank, that would be boring as hell. It's best to kind of mix things around a bit and avoid too much routine and in turn avoid the monotony, which can be as bad for you as doing too much,

Recently I have been supposed to be on a regime of "Stay indoors" to get of the worst of my recent pneumonia infection. Thing is, people who know me best will know well that I really don't do the whole "sit there and do nothing" thing and I do tend to get a bit of cabin fever when I haven't been out for a few days. I don't even understand it myself, but I get really antsy and want to go and do just SOMETHING to break the boredom. So the recent thing has been a game called Disney Infinity. It's like Skylanders but with Disney characters. You can run around areas and do adventures with different characters on the base. It's a lot of fun when you play the "Toy Box" mode and you can build your own little play area for your characters (or take part in a bit of PVP if you are that way inclined). I'd say don't knock it until you try it. You can actually have a lot of fun with things if you approach them with an open mind. Besides, there has to be something fun about using Rapunzel to beat the snot out of Tonto with a cast iron skillet! He started it. She finished it!

On top of my games and watching films, I have been drawing and writing too. Not being able to work has meant that I have had an abundance of time to pursue my own projects and other things. Admittedly with rest and being ill being something of an interlude. Although I do admit that some of my best ideas come when I'm asleep.This is why I have taken to keeping a notepad and pen under my pillow (well behind the backrest) so that when such ideas strike, I am ready for them.

Loves
Wendy xx

Friday, 17 January 2014

Positive Changes.

No one ever said that those first few days post admission were easy. You have a lot to catch up on, from decent sleep (as it is very hard to sleep well in hospital) to less important things like stuff you would have liked to have watched on TV.  Your mind has to resettle back in to the routine of everyday life for you. Everyone has their own ways and methods in life and when that gets disrupted, it can leave you feeling a bit disorientated and lost until you can settle back in to routine. It has been good to get back in to doing my own medication (when someone else is doing it you don't quite feel right) and making sure I get to bed at the time I would usually do so. When I go away, the other thing I miss the most is my animals.

My animals mean a lot to me and I love them dearly. From the 4 guinea pigs (Tenzou, Kibou, Phoenix and Miles) to the 7 rabbits (Riza, Lola, Alice, Jade, Maya, Ginger and Cookie), which I will be having to thin out soon and have some of the young ones adopted. I'm trying to decide which bunnies I want to keep. So far, I have decided that Maya, Lola and Alice are the ones I have bonded with. Lola was always going to be a keeper because she was so different to her sisters and Alice bonded with me right away from when she was a tiny little baby. Maya bonded with me, and Phoenix over the last few weeks. Obviously I am going to keep my Riza-bunny because she is learning to be friendlier and she is a little beauty. A far cry from the rabbit that used to try and high-five you in the face with her claws when I first got her.

Things at home are pretty simple right now and it makes me feel happy and secure because I know that what I have here isn't just material. It's that intangible feeling of warmth and comfort. The living room that I spend time with people laughing and joking around. The bedroom where peaceful nights are spent resting. Those happy moments which sometimes feel far away are the things I look for when I feel dismal and sad. Knowing that I have special people in my life who I love and love me back is the best feeling in the world. It's partly for them that I keep myself going and partly for myself because so many people told me I wouldn't.

I don't deny for a second that I have days where I just want to curl up in a corner and die or take every single tablet in the flat to get quiet peace and relief. I then kick my own ass for those thoughts.  And I really do get hard on myself about things like that because I know I am better than that and that giving up and letting myself die, as happy as that would make some people I'm sure, would be the cowardly way out. And one thing I am not is a coward. I wasn't raised to be a coward and I never wanted to be that way. Sometimes, during those times the best therapy can be to just sit back and have a good cry, let the emotions out and let them go. Bottled up sadness can be worse for you than any health problems after all. So, instead of wallowing in self pity and making myself (and everyone else) miserable, I'm trying to turn things around, learn some new skills and make my mark on the world through my art and creativity. I am good at what I do and I want to learn to be good at other things such as "Flash" or even making my own comics and animations. So it isn't all about "doom and gloom" and "woe is me".

I guess that's the thing about the "Victim" mentality that so many people seem to think they should sink in to. It's easy to do and its hard to stop, because you get so driven down with thinking about how bad things are that you forget the good, simple things. I hate that so many people walk around thinking about how bad their lives are, or bitching about others to try and make themselves feel better. I find people who do things like that rather pathetic and wonder if they were able to actually focus on their own lives rather than trying to make others miserable like them, they would probably actually improve their lot in life. But I know with people like that, it's all too much effort and too hard to get out of the "comfortable" rut. I got myself out of my rut, with those around me helping to keep me supported and I will carry on making my own life better, step by step, inch by inch.

If I can do it, what is stopping anyone else?

Loves
Wendy xx

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

First Admission of 2014

I have already had my first admission of the new year and I have noticed a few things that I could really do with chasing up on. One of which is that my repeat prescription form is really out of date and has medication on there that I haven't taken in a long time, not to mention that I have been given the wrong doses. What I need to do again is what I had before where I had a typed list in a folder explaining to do with my careplan, nominated persons and other such things. It's hard to explain it all when you can't breathe properly so I think that if I could get it typed up and countersigned by my GP, that would make my life 100% easier.

I think my drastic downturn this time began long before I was ready and willing to admit to it. We've all been there haven't we? You don't feel well at all, but at the same time, you really doubt that you actually feel bad enough to need to go to A+E, you get this kind of "I've got everything under control, it's fine" and even though you think you're going to win, you know deep down, you won't but you'll do your damnedest to try and get there. Maybe it's the fear of what may happen if you admit that you feel absolutely dreadful and wonder what exactly is going to happen in that situation. Going in to hospital is stressful for anyone, but when you spend a lot of time in hospital and know most of the staff in A+E and MAU it does start to feel a bit degrading and depressing. I do try not to let it get to me, but sometimes that's easier said than done.

I was there for a few days and spent time trying my hardest to keep my oxygen saturation up. It took some time to get myself to a point where I could breathe easily without having to use the oxygen, the doctors found a shadow on my right lung, showing that there was something evil lurking and I was showing other clinical signs of pneumonia. The annoying thing about pneumonia, once you have had it, you are susceptible to it again and again. It damages your lungs and can leave them scarred and painful, as well as less able to keep the oxygen in your body. It doesn't help that my lower right lung isn't working properly anymore and could one day need to be removed. I don't want to think about that right now as it scares me. A few days of IV Meropenam, o2 and just generally being looked after in hospital, as much as I hated the whole thing and basically did everything I could on Monday to get out of there, it did help me and I am feeling as though I may actually recover from this a bit better than usual. I'll be on antibiotics for a week but at least I am still alive.

I think that sometimes the hardest thing to get in to balance is between the obsessive thinking about nothing but your condition and only focusing on that, and the opposite to that, being totally apathetic and disinterested in your condition. Neither are good attitudes to have and they can be as destructive as each other. A condition can knock the stuffing clean out of you, There is no doubt about that. But if you let it control you, you forget to live in the parameters of your life, you forget to be. I don't like to admit when I have a problem with my asthma because it makes it feel too real, so I could do with learning to become a little more focused on what is really going on here. I hate it, but I do have to accept that this is my life, I have just over half of my lungs working due to scarring and asthma that is persistent and refuses to leave me alone. Conclusion here is that this is my life, but I don't have to sit here and feel sorry for myself.

So I don't.

Even if I have to use my scooter, I still go out and show my face bravely in town. I long since stopped caring about anyone making judgmental comments or glaring at me. If they don't like how I have to live my life, that's not my problem. I don't see anyone as a threat to me anymore. Heck I can sit, poised and putting on my lip balm and anyone could walk past and to be honest I wouldn't care. In fact, I'm through with being fearful of others. I don't care about anyone who wants to intimidate me, and why should I?
 
One thing I have been focusing on recently is changing bad habits. Anything from stupid spending habits to not letting things get on top of me. The biggest one and the most successful has been making sure that at the end of the week, there is always a little bit of cash that can be accessed easily. I have a jar that I save all the coins in after going out. I only empty that once a week to see how much is there, I won't spend that cash unless it is a life or death "Oh my God the world is about to end now" emergency. I also have some notes stored in a DVD case (not going to say which for obvious reasons) for the same reason. I know exactly how much is in each stash and its nice to have that to fall back on if something happened, and it does happen. The other side of this is paying off what I owe to other people and once its all paid, I won't borrow again. Borrowing money is a double edged sword.You borrow money to make it through, yet you can't always afford repayments.

The one thing I have put a stop to completely is selling my possessions just to make ends meet or pay for everyone else. My money is my money and theirs is theirs. Once they run out, that isn't my concern and nothing will make me relent there. I hated selling my stuff because it made me feel like crap, everything I had worked hard for previously and some things that held sentimental value disappearing because of a tight spot financially. It's a false economy really because you only get less than half of what you paid in the first place and not to mention how embarrassing it feels to have to go in to a shop and give them your possessions because you messed up so much that you have to. I want to avoid that situation at all costs and changing my spending habits has been a huge part of that because I don't have to sell things anymore.

I do try and get myself a treat every pay day. Be it a game, a couple of blu-rays or DVDs or even some nice stationary. It always feels nice when you go in to a shop and buy something. Today, my treats to myself were a blu-rays of films I enjoy (including the old favourites The Lion King and Transformers the Movie) and a HDMI splitter. The problem I have right now is I only have 2 HDMI ports on my TV and 3 things that output that way. I could sit there and swap the cable around between the consoles but that would get tiresome in time. Normally when I want to game, I want to just turn on a game and play, not fiddle around with cables behind the TV to plug in either my X-Box or Playstation. I could do one through AV, but it kind of takes away from the point a little. Not using the HD capabilities in the machines to their maximum potential is like getting a really expensive sports car to drive at 20mph all the time. I love both consoles and it gives me that well needed escape from the world around me, even if it is for a couple of hours or so. I won't rush out just yet for a PS4 or X-Box One because I am too happy with that machines I have. After all, you can only ever play one at a time!

I guess the main thing I do with my time is make the most of what I have, rather than sit around lamenting the past or what I wanted for myself. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want. That's alright though, because there is no situation I have been in that I haven't been able to work it to my advantage and do what I can to make sure my way of life is at least sustainable and comfortable and it works for me.

Loves
Wendy xx

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Finding Hope In a Dark Corner...

I try not to put too much of my illness on here, but this is one of those moments where I think its a good thing to reflect upon. How I have kept myself going throughout all of this and how I intend to keep going until I can't anymore. I'm not one for feeling sorry for myself, it doesn't fix anything and makes you feel worse, I know, I tried to be "woe is me" once and I think that after a while, I was ready to give up and let myself go. Then I gave myself a mental bitch-slap, told myself to get a grip and actually LOOK at things for what they were. Yes, it sucks at times. BUT I do still let myself have fun. I'm always saying "I am not the first person to go through this, I am not the worst and I won't be the last." and its something I try and stick to, even when things are difficult and I feel like I can't cope anymore.

Although I don't plan on going anywhere just yet, I have given it some thought as to what my funeral and memorial should be. I don't think that I would want floral tributes as, pretty as they are, once they're gone thats it. Instead I would want my friends and family to donate a small amount of money to Asthma UK to support their ongoing work in to the treatment of asthma and perhaps make a cure perhaps if not in our lifetime but in the future. There has to be one out there and I live in hope that they eventually find one. I think the hardest thing recently was finding a child nebuliser mask. I thought about how small it was and I actually cried because I thought about how hard it must have been for those children who do suffer with this condition, their families and parents. It's hard enough for and adult to understand and deal with at the best of times, but a little child, that's just so horrible. 

It got me thinking of recently was the effect of my illness on my life and how it sometimes affects those close to me. It's a hard one to understand from an outside point of view and it can be very distressing for people to witness because I can go from being completely fine and happy to wheezing, unable to talk or breathe and in the back of an ambulance within an hour and sometimes even faster depending on everything else (general state of health, stress, hormone changes) and it can be hard because often there is no advance warnings and I have asthma attacks every day. Some are small and a few nebs and some rest fix it, others can be life threatening and mean a trip to the hospital for extra help. Last year I nearly died 3 times but I was so lucky to have had the people who helped me and the friends who held me up at the hardest parts. No one ever tells you how to live with a long term condition. There isn't an "Asthma 101" course. We just have to "make do" and cope as best we can, and I like to
think we don't do a bad job. I'd go as far as to say, we do damn well considering the circumstances.

People don't really understand asthma, particularly the 2.6 million of us with severe or brittle asthma. A lot of people wrongfully assume that it's just a case of take an inhaler and be done with it. I can tell you here and now, life with brittle asthma is terrifying, confusing, isolating and uncertain. You don't really know how well you're going to be on any given day until you get there. Because you're only 1 in 2.6 million, it can be hard to relate to other people because they don't actually know what life is like for you and they may find things that you see as everyday quite bizarre and in some cases scary. I find it hard to be just like everyone else because I have to fit in multiple treatments throughout a day and I find keeping up with others difficult (especially when my scooter was away for repair) as well as living what you could consider a normal life.

Although I would love to, life with my condition (due to the variable nature and the fact it wears me out among other reasons) means that I cannot work. That was one of the most depressing things to come to terms with. Since the age of 16 to the age of 21, I was always either in work, college or actively seeking work. To be told that being unable to carry on with that and not really being able to live by myself was a kind of "rock bottom" for me. Growing up the way I have has always meant that I maintained my own independence in some way. That has always held some importance to me because I feel that as soon as I lose my independence that is when I'll just give up completely. I try and make the most of the days when I don't feel like I have been dug up and on the bad days, which are very common, I find things that make me happy. I try not to let the fact that sometimes I could be closer to the unthinkable than I would like to be get to me. It's always there in the dark recesses of my mind, but it stays there because I make it stay there.

To say it can be inconvenient is a bit of an understatement. When you have to drop everything, grab the hospital bag and go can be a complete pain in the arse. It's the nature of my asthma though. I can't really say that I have gotten used to it, its more like I just tolerate it because there isn't really a lot more we can do. I'm on maximum treatments and am even taking other medications for other issues which can be hard to understand. Managing this is a full time job. I have to do things at certain times and try and keep to a routine as best as I can to keep on top of it. The human body responds well to routine and knowing when you need to do something can be key to keeping control.

One of the worst things is when I get chest infections. This has been a permanent state for me over the last year or so. Basically there isn't much air going in to the lower part of my right lung and as a result it's pretty much dead space. We may have to consider removal at some point, it scares me. But I know that I will get through it with Jace, Becky, Natt and Bean all there to keep me going.

The main intention with asthma isn't cure, because there isn't one. It's control and management, keeping away from triggers (where reasonably possible), medication and generally taking care of yourself and knowing your limits. My asthma does scare me sometimes. It can be hard to understand for me sometimes, let alone anyone else who knows me and my conditions. It is like living on a knife edge and walking a really tough tightrope. You can be thrown at any time and you don't know who or what is going to catch you on the way down. That's why I feel lucky to have the people in my life that I do. These people have been there through thick, thin and thinnest and have always been supportive and caring. Not everyone has special people out there who support them and would drop whatever to just come and give you a hand to hold or a kind word when you feel scared or vulnerable.

But there are times when things get a bit too real for me. When my attacks start, I can be very quiet and disinterested to start off. It's kind of like being in a bubble and although you can see things you like on the outside, being able to reach out and grab them is incredibly difficult. After a while, that lack of interest is followed by the urge to sleep and prepare myself for it as best I can, I don't want to eat. I don't really want to talk to or be around anyone and tend to just keep myself to myself. I can sometimes get a bit stroppy and moody when I feel like crap, I don't know why that happens, maybe its a mixture of fear and generally feeling annoyed at the whole thing, as I say, I have no idea. Usually when I start acting rather erratically that's when we really take a look at my peak flow because that can sometimes indicate that I really am not feeling myself. We call it "Turtling" in the asthma community, meaning that we go at the pace of a turtle, taking our time and doing what we can to try and keep it at bay for as long as possible. But sometimes it does get to the point where you are metaphorically trying to put a sticky plaster on a broken limb and hoping for the best. 

Recently Asthma UK asked us what one word we would use to describe an asthma attack, my word was "Terrifying." It is a rather scary experience because you can't breathe, you feel a bit scared and exhausted. Breathing becomes a constant effort and you just have to will yourself to keep going. Its really scary when that means you have to go to hospital. You're in an alien and intimidating place and fighting to breathe, you can't really speak and tell someone you're scared or in pain and it can make you feel as though you are in a room screaming loudly but no one can hear you. Overnight stays always get to me because all I can think about is going home. You miss the simple things when you're away from home, from the softness of a guinea pig's fur to that spot in your bed that has almost moulded to your shape and is the most comfortable spot ever. Its looking towards the light at the end of the tunnel that keeps me hopeful. I have found hope more important in all of this than any medication, pill or potion.

After my attacks, I tend to yet again, just want to curl up and sleep until I feel less crappy. It takes about a week to really recover from an asthma attack, unless you are one of the unlucky sods who have them often, not allowing the recovery of the last one. The best thing I find is not focusing on the negatives and find something to keep me distracted. Usually something technological or gadgety. I've been kept in place transfixed by a laptop, iPod, Phone or games console many times and I feel better afterwards. Sometimes it helps to kind of put your mind somewhere else and put your energy in to something else. Even if it is just a doodle or a Sims 2 place. It helps.

Those simple pleasures, sitting with your friends and loved ones even if you're doing separate things but you're quietly appreciating each other. Having a snuggle with a beloved pet or your favourite blanket/soft toy or anything else. Its a comfort to have someone or something to find hope in. Hope keeps you going even in the scariest situations. I have it tattooed on my right ankle in an "ambigram" design. It says "Hope" right way up or upside down. To me that is a reminder that no matter what situation you find yourself in, there is hope there if you care to look for it. It's not really a show-off tattoo. Its more of a personal reminder and something to bolster my inner strength. I got it at a time when I was a bit unsure at myself, actually before things got to the stage they were (I was 20 years old I think), but I was having problems with both my asthma and depression and was starting to wonder where I fit in life, I was about to leave home for the 2nd time and was about to live in my first flat away from any parental supervision. I look back fondly at that old place and remember that summer where a group of us lay out on the flat part of the roof, just talking about everything and feeling happy, even if it was uninhabitably cold in the winter (I think it got to -3 at one point). I do think that life is what you make it. Try and look at things from a positive and objective point of view and you can get through it.

Loves
Wendy xx

First Blog of 2014

I haven't been blogging recently and to be honest, I believe that I should explain why. Things have changed so much over the last couple of months and to be honest it has been a heck of a shock to me. First after Becky moved out and I had to get rid of one of my carers because they were doing things that were not right and thinking that they were in the right (yeah, confusing I know.), a rather unpleasant time spent in hospital at the endoscopy unit AND then having an unexpected change in my home situation were not all part of the plan I had for the end of the year.

It didn't help that my laptop had a screen issue, because of said neighbour and her child's sticky fingers getting stuff trapped in the LCD, while I was trying to fix that, I was startled by S trying her best to give me EVERY pen that she could find in the flat (bear in mind, that is a LOT of pens) and making me slip up and tear the ribbon that connected the LCD to the motherboard which I can't even begin to say how much I was annoyed. This wasn't helped that Currys couldn't fix it, and I almost got caught out by a shop of scam artists and then it transpired that it had to go right back to Toshiba for repairs (which then identified a motherboard issue which was probably a manufacturing fault and was repaired for free). This was a pain in the arse to be honest and it took a long time to put it right. Morale of the story? When conducting repairs on electronics, lock the door and wear ear plugs.

Then there was the awkwardness of having to dismiss S because I found out that she had been actually trying to take me for a ride. Little things like money were going missing and then every week she would come in, demand more money from me (by the end she was trying to fleece £400 a month off me for doing pretty much nothing but sitting around drinking my coffee and using me as some kind of childcare service) and then getting Natt (who was more than willing) to take over full time. Since then, there was an incident in which Natt found himself homeless and needed a place to crash so he has been staying here with me since the end of November, but this is only a temporary thing, but I don't want to spoil the surprise we have in store.

I spent Christmas this year with Jace and his family, which as always was absolutely fantastic. I loved how well we could just lie and watch films and not have to worry about a thing. I feel really safe with Jace and we have a really happy and wonderful relationship. We respect each other and when one feels the need for time alone, we don't argue the toss about it. I think I prefer relationships which are... uncomplicated. Its nice that we have each other and well, I wouldn't ever want to trade what we have for the world because we are so happy and even if the distance does bother us sometimes, it's OK because we appreciate the time we get together. 

New year came and went and I spent it with Natt and Bean, playing games, watching films and staying up past midnight to watch the fireworks on TV. Simple and very enjoyable, Natt and Bean were occupied with the X-Box while I was playing with my newest toy (a Christmas present), my PS3. I have been spending some time "bonding" with my PS3 and have been suckered in to buying films on Blu-ray. I have to say, watching Beauty and The Beast in high definition, I can honestly say it does make a difference, even on my rather small TV (compared to Natt's 50 inch monster) and I was finding little details that I had missed previously. My next big one to enjoy is Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete, but I am waiting for a good opportunity to crack that one out...(alright so I did watch just the amazing climatic battle so I could have a good perv, so sue me!). Maybe I can use my recent infections as a reason to just veg on the sofa with some good films.

Riza's kids are growing up. In fact they actually look like young bunnies now. I have split them up in to pairs (as they are all girls) and have spaced them out within the cages. As a result, the young guinea pigs are being licked by young bunnies (in their pairing is Lola, the lickiest bunny I have ever encountered) which is amusing to watch, it's not a permanent solution but right now it seemed the best idea as poor Riza was really losing it when all 6 of them went in to feeding frenzy all at once and wanted to suckle. They're fully weaned now, but I think that the 2 with her like to suckle for comfort more than feeds.It;s amusing to watch them all developing their own little characters and personalities.

I guess that's all that I can say has been happening recently but hey, I never said it was a glamorous life!

Loves
Wendy xx

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