For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Crohns Disease (my IBS was rediagnosed as Crohns), Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I have recently also been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea (which makes me stop breathing in my sleep) I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen and CPAP.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Saturday, 16 March 2019

Higher Nature - Natural Inhaler Salt Pipe - A review.

Get it here.

Please be aware that this review is NOT sponsored by Higher Nature or their representatives, but an honest review of their product based upon my on personal experience in using it. It also is not intended as medical advice or instructions, if you aren't sure about if the salt pipe is for you, please speak to your doctor, respiratory nurse or anyone else who can advise you.

A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by a PR representative of Higher Nature, a website that promotes natual health supplements and complimentary therapies. I'm a big believer in natural remedies and herbal therapies so it was my pleasure to be asked to try out one of their salt pipe products. For those of you who don't know what salt pipe are, they use a special kind of salt, in this case from the Transylvanian Priad salt mines. When inhaled regularly, this can cleanse the airway and help with secretion clearance, something I personally have a lot of problems with. I was excited to try this as I suffer terribly from chronic chest infections due to not being able to cough up the muck easily.

This review will be written over a week and published when its done. I'll be using the salt pipe for 5 minutes 4 times a day (for 20 minutes total, the instructions say 15-25 mins a day so 20 seems fair) and recording my progress. If you would like more information about Higher Nature and their salt pipe please visit their website by clicking here.

First Impressions:
So when I first got the salt pipe, I liked the design of it, the salt is sealed in a chamber below the ceramic mouthpiece. I first read the instruction leaflet inside the box. It felt well assembled and sturdy, not to mention small enough to pop in my bag if I needed to. I found the leaflet inside was informative and knew that this was a high quality product. The only thing I noticed was that it seemed a bit heavy but considering its construction I think that was to be expected, but considering its longevity, I think porcelain is a more hygienic material compared to plastic.
I did wonder how long I would have to use the pipe before I saw any difference so believe that could have been a bit clearer on the leaflet, and I also had to do my own research in to how it worked and any side effects I had to look out for. The weight did take me by surprise but considering that it is porcelain and will last 5 years, it was understandable. 

Day 1: Saturday:
So, I read the leaflet and started my first treatment. It took me a while to get the technique down (in through mouth and out through nose, apparently breathing out the mouth in to the pipe damages the salt), but I definitely did feel the difference, admittedly I was rather breathless at first as I'd been breathing in a way that was different to usual. I also noticed that after using it for the day, I did manage to bring up some rather sticky and unpleasant stuff that had been in my lungs. I also noticed that night (Jace did too) that I wasn't snoring as badly as I do sometimes.

Only downside was that my mouth was a bit dry.
Day 2: Sunday:
I started off day 2 with producing a lot of mucous off my chest. My breathing felt a bit less congested on a whole and I found that combining the salt pipe with my other therapies (nebulisers and even a bit of flutter) meant that I was a little more able to clear my chest. I had to consciously remember though not change my breathing pattern too much but still remember to exhale through my nose. My mouth wasn't so dry though.

Day 3: Monday:
Again, started off with a lot of gunk coming from up from my chest. I did notice that after using the pipe before nebulisers, my chest felt a bit sore but that was easily remedied with my meds. The important thing to remember with these "complimentary therapies" is that they aren't a miracle cure and aren't intended to replace your regular medicines. They do however help to add an extra boost to your regular therapies and help you with symptom control. Salt pipes are particularly useful if you have problems with congestion and secretion build up. 

Day 4: Tuesday:
My airways have been less congested, I've found that the best way to use the salt pipe is around the same time as nebs as the airways are more receptive to the therapy. I managed to move a mucous plug that had probably been there for a while and needed to come up. My mouth doesn't feel so dry anymore and I'm not getting a salty taste on my tongue now. I am finding the technique easier to manage and I'm getting something positive from the experience. It seems to work similar to saline nebs but a lot more is getting down in to the base of my lungs.

Day 5: Wednesday:
More of the plugs are shifting, but I don't know if it's causing me to cough more. It could be the salt being a bit irritating or it could just be my asthma being it's usual self. I'm finding it simple enough to do and find time during the day to sit down and with my salt pipe and use it. So far I'm not getting any negative side effects from it and it seems to help when I'm congested. I could definitely find this helpful when I'm shifting an infection.

Day 6: Thursday:
My snoring at night has improved and as I'm not so gunked up, my apnea has improved somewhat. I can honestly say that it's a quick and easy way to help with clearing the mucous from your airways which seems to be the main thing. Less gunk and more lung to use.

Day 7: Friday:
So, I woke up earlier than usual this morning as I needed to cough a lot. This was not unusual for me as I cough more than anything anyway but once I had finished, I noticed that my airways didn't hurt so much as usual after a coughing fit. It seemed that the inhaled salt had calmed my airways a little. I won't say that it was a complete transformation but it certainly was a pleasant surprise. 

I am honestly going to say that although the salt therapy hasn't been a miracle cure, it's definitely worth a try if you're congested and have trouble with thinning down the mucous enough to cough up, it does feel like it's done something positive but there were times where my lungs found it a little irritating but that could be my lungs being their usual selves. To be honest I didn't know quite what to expect with trying a salt pipe and I did some research on it to see what I was trying. It seems that these are great for people who are prone to infections or have problems with gunk pooling.

I found the pipe easy to use and once I had worked out a technique with it, it seemed to fit in with the rest of the physical therapy devices I use for chest clearance. It was a bit awkward though at first as you have to remember not to breathe out through your mouth while using it so as to not affect the salt crystals inside. Its a really useful additional therapy but you can't just use that and expect to not need anything else, so if you do decide to give this a try (and I recommend it myself) you must take care to take your normal medication alongside it and you do need to keep at it regularly for the benefit to be felt. Also, it can provoke airway spasms so if you do experience anything like that then you must stop and seek advice.

I thank Higher Nature for the chance to try this product. 

Wendy xx

Friday, 8 March 2019


I was having a look through some boxes the other day. It's amazing how much stuff you end up with when you aren't paying attention. For me it seems to be a thing for notebooks. I have a lot of them. And this weird habit of offloading a few thoughts and feelings before moving on and writing something else in another book. It's something I've always done. I used to buy notebooks at school, fill them with randomness and then get another one. It's kind of like journalling but it's as sporadic and patchy as my mind tends to be.

Some of my notes make sense. Budgets and shopping lists, "to do (often dated)" lists and things I need to get for the house. Its by looking at these that give you a vague insight in to how Jace and I run our place and how I keep an eye on things to make sure bills are paid. Then there's doodles, characters points (for my Midgar stories and some other projects) and general just writing down whatever pops in my head (these are usually random rants about things or things I've had to bite my tongue before saying). Maybe it's just my way of making sense of the chaos. Other times it's to alleviate boredom or stress. Other times I write what I think just so that at some stage, I'll be in a calmer mindset to cope with the way I feel about things. Distance and all that.

One thing I did find was from 2012. When my body was starting to get too weak to cope with moving around and I was facing the prospect of being in a wheelchair. This didn't happen totally for 2 years after this but my mobility was getting worse. It's hard to read because the "me" who was writing it seemed so sad. She didn't want to be in a chair because she was scared that it would take her independence away. How I wish I could go back and comfort her and tell her that actually the chair wouldn't limit her, it would liberate her. And it really has. In fact, my nebulisers and oxygen have both freed me from nearly weekly admissions. My life has been so much better with them and as hard as they have been to get used to, it's been a positive thing. 

I do sometimes wonder what my life could have been like but then it hits me, it doesn't matter so much now because this is what my life turned out to be. I don't feel so sad about it anymore, there's times where it feels unfair but it's then when you sit and remind yourself that you are still alive and you are still doing things, even when you can't see that for yourself. I think it is very much a case of what you make it and really the best thing to do is to just move forward, even if its only baby steps to start off with. When I read my old journals it makes me remember that yes things were difficult then but things are never easy when they're worthwhile, but the main thing is that I somehow managed to survive and live to fight another day. Maybe that's what it is. The knowing that you can overcome things and move forward, even if it isn't easy. But show me something in life that was easy that was worth it. No struggle, no way forward. 


Wendy xx

Thursday, 31 January 2019

Copimg With Life.

People often have their own subjective opinion on what being tired is and no two people can say they experience the same thing when they feel tired. For example, when Jace says he's tired, of keansnhe wants to go and sleep. It's hard to explain what I mean when I say "I'm just tired." Because to me, just simply wanting to go to sleep isn't the same thing. I wonder if you, dear reader, have ever experienced what I am about to explain? I wonder what your thoughts are and what it's like to not feel like this on a daily basis.

To me, being tired isn't simple. My body is so physically worn out that even getting up to use the toilet makes me have to catch my breath. I ache. From top to bottom but it's like my body is still going despite that. Often my eyes don't want to focus and my mind can be just as troublesome. My back aches from where my spine is bent. My stomach hurts because it doesn't want to digest food. My lungs feel like they're about half the size they should be (well, my function is about 40% at most with 65% effective gas transfer due to scar tissue and damage from infections and asthma). I sleep a lot but have to use a CPAP machine as my lungs are so tired after a day's work, along with previous injury to my throat, I have sleep apnea, that's actually mild considering.

I'm still trying to keep doing the same things I always enjoyed. I'm still trying hard to have what could be seen as a normal life. It's hard to admit that things like taking a shower or going to the toilet are hard for me. I guess the best way to explain it would be to think of it like a health bar in a game. As a baseline we always get +10 blocks a day. Normally a person would use 8-9, depending on the activities they do. Someone like me who has health problems is different. For instance, for me, I have to "borrow" blocks from the next day and that can really bite me in the backside. So say I started with 6 blocks. I then have to almost ration my day to make it through without needing to add to the deficit. So often, I have to choose what to do and try and make it work. Once you hit 0 you need twice as much to do things so you're forever adding to that "debt" of exhaustion until inevitably, you crash.

Hard. And catastrophically.

Game Over.

It then takes a week or so of doing nothing and not wasting any energy. Usually for me, it means a trip to hospital, usually a massive bump up with extra meds and literally just sleeping. It's only then that I get to restart and get back to normality (or as close to it as it gets around here).

But just sleeping/ taking it easy/ eating better won't make the problem go away. For example, when Jace gets tired, he just goes to sleep and feels better. For me it literally can take days before I can even function at some kind of level. And it's not like I sleep all that time either. Sometimes I have to find light activities to do and make sure that I'm doing the things I have to. It's not a pity party but more of a survival party. One that I still do my best to keep up with.

And yes there are times when I find myself at breaking point with it all. I'm not ashamed to admit that. There are days where I wake up thinking "And so we start again..." and those are difficult to comprehend. It does make my mind to to dark places and it then takes us both to pull me around again and sometimes I do have to have a good cry, a cup of tea (because that fixes everything) and hugs from Jace and the pigs. They remind me that I'm still here and there are a lot more people out there who care about me than I think when I feel that way, my friends and family are precious to me as well.

So, instead of wallowing in my own sadness and all the bad things, I try and keep positive. Happiness isn't something that you should expect. It's something you work towards and do as much as you need to in order to get it. So rather than being negative and moaning all the time, try and think "OK that sucks BUT this is something good that I'm focused on." Set achievable goals. Pay it forward with kindness to a stranger (if you see someone needs some help, do what you can to help them. Even a small gesture like a kind word or a cup of tea and a sandwich for a homeless person can mean a massive amount) and remember that misery isn't a contest, and it shocks me that people treat it that way.

Wendy xx

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

Happy New Year

I'll start off with wishing you all a happy new year and I hope you all had fun and enjoyed the festive period. It's been a quiet one for us here as I have had flu for the past couple of weeks and it's really taken it out of me as it usually does. Flu is horrible for anyone but to someone with brittle asthma it can really be awful and it drains you completely. Not to mention that my body has a really weird habit of overcompensating when it tries to fight anything off. And then there's the complications of flu themselves.

This basically results in an allergic reaction. In my case, it manifests itself with hives. Hives are weird as they are red, they're itchy and they drive me crazy. The first time this happened was when I was in school. It was during PE that my friends noticed that the small spots that seemed to be annoying me all day had exploded all over my body. You name it, they had happened, looking like flat topped bubbles under the skin. I was feeling pretty lousy and one friend made sure I got home, told my then stepdad what happened as I went to lie down. At around 5, I remember my mum coming in as I was sat on the floor (can't remember what I was doing) but I remember how swollen my lips were. Luckily it was just a reaction to a virus but it still happens now, almost 16 years later. It's easily managed with antihistamines and bed rest but it makes you feel lousy.

I was determined though to make sure that I was at home for both Christmas and New Year. I really didn't want to spend a festive season in hospital again. Been there. Done that. Would rather not do that again but of course it's meant being careful. Keeping everything to hand and getting enough rest have been paramount but I can honestly say that I'm not having an easy time of it. I'm back on oral antibiotics again which means there's another infection brewing which explains the exhaustion I feel right now. Another danger symptom which has been happening is the general lack of focus on any one thing. This is probably one of the more annoying things as I can start doing something then after a few moments I'll have given up and started doing something else. It's frustrating and hard to understand and even harder to explain to someone else. I did manage to speak to someone the other night but there's not been much really in the way of conclusion or generally determining the issue. I'm not sure myself either.

Other than the usual health issues, things are pretty much as they should be. The guinea pigs are growing more confident, and I am getting to see those different characters come out. Bakura is probably the naughtiest little fluffball I've had in a long time but that's just a little boy being a little lad really. The way his fluff is growing though is probably the funniest as he has a curl on his face that looks like he's been styling himself like an "Emo kid". He's getting bossy towards the others though and often he's the one who starts (and finishes) any arguements. Then when you pick him up, he becomes like a soft little baby in your arms, definitely knows how to wrap me around his little paws. Since adopting the two, it's been great to see Yugi's interaction with them and I've no doubt that this was the right thing to do.

At the moment, I keep falling asleep sat up so I think I'll leave this here and go rest for a bit.

Wendy xx

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Beating Isolation

One of the hard things about living with a disability is the feeling of isolation and being unable to do things most take for granted. For example, a trip to town needs to be planned. Where are we going, how long, what regular meds to take and making sure that I have an emergency supply and the nebuliser ready just in case. I have to keep everything at hand and make sure my tank has enough oxygen in. I really find it hard to get out and about sometimes but the not for want of trying. I used to go out more but its gotten a lot more difficult. But it doesn't mean that I don't try. You have to try otherwise you risk isolating yourself further, and what's the point in having portable oxygen and a wheelchair of I was just going to lie in bed 24/7. Even when there days when all I want is to sleep until I feel better but I have to be realistic about how much "better" I can get. Brittle asthma is a very unpredictable disease and it really does vary from day to day depending on so many factors.

The one thing that makes it difficult to go out is getting on a bus. Sounds so simple doesn't it? I mean millions of people get on millions of buses a day, but how many of them get on a bus in a wheelchair? Having to ask the driver (who often looks at you like you're dirt) to lower the ramp, asking people to move from the wheelchair bay (despite wheelchairs having priority, there are buggies, some empty some not, and understandably people don't want to put a buggy down, and some people can be downright rude). Then there's the actual ride itself. Redditch buses are notorious for being awful... I guess the less I say there the better. Once we get there though, I love exploring and looking around.

When thinking about isolation, I found myself wondering something rather, admittedly, odd. In Switzerland, it's illegal to own just one of some pets, such as guinea pigs and goldfish. The guinea pig thing I can understand as they are really social animals. When Tristan died, Yugi was alone for about 8 weeks and during that time he became so clingy and just thankful of any human interaction. This happens often when you only have one pig. Patch was alone for 6 months before he got a friend and he was more like a puppy at times, always wanting me to be close by. Since getting Marik and Bakura, Yugi has been a lot happier, albeit he's still very sweet towards his humans.

So you're probably wondering where this is going? Well, after finding this out, I found myself wondering about goldfish. Do goldfish really get lonely? Turns out that they do. I then started thinking about people on the whole. Since the creation of social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc) we spend more time in the virtual world and it is the most common way that people communicate. Which is kind of worrying to think that most of our lives are conducted through glass screens (much like being in our own personal fish bowl perhaps?) Then I started looking through my Facebook timeline. The most glaring thing I found was the sheer amount of stuff people share online. I'm personally a very private person so don't like to share too much of my private life online. That kind of thing only invites stalkers or gives people the ammo to use later. I find that oversharing your life with everyone to be quite cringy and sometimes it does come across as attention seeking. There's nothing wrong with reaching out but constant moaning isn't going to fix anything.

My general rule of thumb is "would I be happy to do/announce this in the middle of town? If not, then leave it off Facebook". Besides I don't think people want to see "I'm so ill... In pain... Etc" several times a day or the same memes that are about how bad someone has it despite it being their own doing. Maybe it's because I internalise everything  because  I don't like burdening others  with my problems. I also found that Facebook makes me feel more wound up sometimes but it's the only way of keeping in touch.

All this because of thinking about a goldfish!

It was my 31st birthday last month (considering that I was being told that I wasn't likely to see 30 more than once, I've done pretty well for myself) and as usual it's given me time for some reflection on how I've grown over the years. Then noticing that at heart, I'm still that person I was 10-15 years ago. I still love the same things plus loads of new things. I've learned a fair amount of lessons though and there's so much that I would probably tell my 16 year old self to watch for and probably tell her to enjoy herself more. Things will get tough but you know something, you'll come out stronger as a result. Get out, experience as much as you can. Don't let anyone take away that independent streak and stop trying to please everyone else. Unfortunately though, hindsight being a wonderful thing, I did make choices which maybe weren't great really but if I hadn't made any mistakes, I wouldn't have met Jace and we wouldn't have our happy home here. So I guess it's all worked out pretty well really.

As this year comes to an end, it's got me thinking about the next year, what I want to do with it and how much I am hoping for better luck health-wise.

Wendy xx

Wednesday, 31 October 2018

Why Self Advocacy is Vital

Suddenly it's gone cold. Personally I prefer the cooler temperatures over sweltering heat but my lungs aren't exactly 100% happy with the sudden change of temperature. Maybe it's not helped that I don't really feel that I have actually gotten better from last month's hospital admission, I started to get there then the antibiotics ended and then it's just snowballed from there. I'm not overly worried but I am taking precautions and keeping an eye on things. Should my peak flow be really low and unable to bring back up then I know what I need to (reluctantly) do. I'm just praying that it doesn't come to that because I have an awesome month coming up and need to be well enough for it!

One thing I am noticing at the moment is that there's a lot of backyard bonfires and wood burning going on. I can't really stop that as there's no real laws against it but the smoke is affecting my asthma. Smoke in any situation will usually result in me coughing and wheezing. Cigarette smoke is one of my biggest triggers. Actually, passing someone outside whose smoking has an adverse effect on me. When I lived in Abbeydale, there was a woman who used to talk to my next door neighbour while smoking and standing on my doorstep (and the ventilation duct that led straight in to my bedroom) and it would make me cough until I started speaking up. The did stop as well. I've been admitted to hospital a few times due to 2nd hand smoke so for an asthmatic, it really isn't something to take lightly. The bonfires though are all part of the annual "Guy Fawkes" tradition so again, it's nothing that can be helped but it's only until around November 5th so that's not too bad and it'll pass.

The one thing that really annoys me is when you go in to town and people stand outside the shopping centre (there's a narrow street entrance, and despite being designated no smoking, well people do it anyway) smoking, often around prams or pushchairs containing small children. I find this galling. Smoking and damaging your own health is one thing but when you smoke over your pram where your precious bundle of joy is sleeping is just awful. I almost want to go over and ask if they want their child to grow up with severe breathing problems and potentially end up like me. I don't because I have to remind myself that it's not my place to say anything. It's crazy, in a society where some parents choose not to vaccinate their child due to the possible side effects, others will choose to expose their child to toxic smoke and cause other health problems.

Trigger avoidance is actually difficult. You can control the confines of the home to an extent (my home is strictly "No Smoking" and there's notices outside to visitors. Not only because of the trigger for my asthma (and that it is just gross anyway) but also because if someone came in here smoking it could cause an explosion with the oxygen cylinders around here! Even outside exposure to cigarette smoke can trigger a bad asthma attack and it's happened more times than I care to think of. It's difficult to explain to other people but sometimes people realise the problem and stops doing it near you. You just have to speak up, be polite though. I find that saying "Excuse me, would you mind not smoking around me as I am severely asthmatic" can actually have a positive response rather than swearing and shouting at people.

Sometimes people have to be told and only you can do that. I've had to learn how to self advocate, especially in situations where you need to get through to someone and get the help you need. It's about having the courage to say "actually, that isn't right" and not accepting a lower standard of life because someone else thinks you should. It's not being "entitled" or expecting special treatment, it's about getting what you need and getting people to listen to you. Something everyone is entitled to. No one should have to accept that and it can be difficult. Some people will try and stop you but you have to keep moving forward and get where you need to.

It's about never giving up.

Wendy xx

Thursday, 25 October 2018

Autumn Cleaning.

I've always liked autumn. The colourful foliage and the hazy sunshine always feels much better after a long and hot summer. This summer was just uncomfortable and far far too hot for my liking. I mean, it's alright if you want to lie there in as little as possible while feeling like you're melting but it's not really my idea of fun. So I'm actually glad that the summer has ended and autumn has officially begun.

OK so that means that winter is coming and that usually means that my lungs can strop and will strop. I think I did really well though to manage 18 months without an admission, pretty impressive but there were times when really I should have but just didn't want to be sat around waiting for hours, usually for a bed on a ward which obviously has its own set of challenges for me. I'm a very private person and need to be able to shut myself away from others because being around people all the time stresses me out. I'm not sure why that is, but it is what it is really. My lungs have been twitchier than usual and that usually doesn't bode well for me. I think there's a number of things that are potentially making it happen but as for what they are, I'm not entirely sure. I think maybe the sudden cold wetness has had an Impact, I've been doing my best to just lay low for now when work on getting things under some kind of control. I have a lot of things in the upcoming weeks, not to mention that my birthday is coming up soon as well as Christmas. I've not made any particular plans as yet but I'm sure that will change sooner rather than later.

One thing that comes in autumn is bonfire night and that always means that there's backyard bonfires, fireworks and everything in between. I have never been one for fireworks but the smoke from chimneys, bonfires and even people smoking while out on the street can be bothersome to us asthmatics, I personally find it galling to see people abusing their healthy lungs while there's plenty of people who would love and cherish a set of good clean lungs that actually did what they were made to do! I tend to ask people to stand away if they're smoking because not only is it a huge trigger but with my oxygen.. well it doesn't take a genius to know the outcome of that.

The one thing that I have been doing is bonding with the new boys. It never ceases to surprise me how diverse their personalities are. I've been getting to know my floofies and work out what they like and dislike. I have found that Marik likes to cling to me like a limpet and coos when he gets tickled. Out of the two, he was the more skittish, 2 years of very little human attention can do that to a guinea pig. His fur is getting fluffier as well and he's just so docile. Bakura is crazy. He runs around squealing, generally being a young guinea pig. I do wish he could stay this small forever though! He's a palmful of soft floof.

I've also been sorting cards, making some decks and practicing with them. Between us, we have some amazing decks and can't wait to use them and their strategies. But we are having a clear out as we have literally too many cards! (Because apparently that's a thing?) All joking aside though it's going to be a fun few days to sort out what we want and what we don't (I do mean the "roll eyes" kind of fun) but it's something you need to do every once in a while, clear out the nest a bit, put some items on eBay perhaps and make room. I'd like to start up a custom pig enclosure in the new year for the boys so that would be a fun project.

I guess keeping busy has been a part of how I stay sane in some really less than sane situations! I never like oversharing on Facebook about every single bump or bruise. The older I get, the more that I find it more fun to post interesting things I've done in the day or ideas I have about things, drawings, things I've made. That kind of thing. Celebrate life's victories and achievements and sod anything else really because in a year's time, you'll remember the better things you did and the bumps and bruises you get along the way will have healed and probably disappeared completely, so why worry?

What did an experience teach you? What happens now as you move forward?

Remember one thing, if I've ever taught anyone anything it's that no matter how many times I may have fallen down (be it my fault or anyone else's), I haven't failed because I always got back up and kept going. There's been times when I've come close, heck I won't shy away from the fact that I've sat there more than once with a load of things there and I've just wanted it to end and to go to sleep. I've been there. I've got scars to prove it. But the reminder is that I survived. I've reached milestones that no one believed I could. And I will keep doing that because there's still plenty of life in me.

Wendy xx


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