Today I have had a better day than many of the ones gone by. This is a better outcome than recently when I had nearly done some horrific things to myself and had all but given up on "normality". It's amazing how 24 hours, letting off some steam and talking to people who are supportive can really improve things and allow one to get some much needed sleep and wake up at a reasonable time feeling fresh and relaxed, ready for another day of trying to not scratch at the rash on the back of my neck again.
I don't know where the origins of this rash came from. It started happening when I was about 15 or 16 years old. First time it happened, I was at a friends and I couldn't stop scratching my hands and had even made some of the sores bleed and weep. By the time I had gotten home, the strange rash had gone from my hand and was now under my chin. When I woke up the next morning the rash had gone... Until later on when it reappeared at school on my hands, arms and (after I had touched it as an experiment) my stomach. It was so surreal and we were all wondering what on earth it was, at "Homework Club" (Where we used to stay an hour and use the internet) me and my friend scoured the internet looking for some kind of answer. We had absolutely no idea! By the next morning, my mum was worried so she ran me to the Doctor's and we found out that it was known as "nettle rash" or hives.
There is a kind of Hives that happens when your body develops a viral infection and instead of attacking the virus, your body decides it's a wise idea to attack itself instead. By this point I was really confused but didn't feel well enough to ask for a better explanation until I was much older and after it had happened a number of other times and became a fail-safe indicator as to whether or not I was coming down with something.
Coming down with something is probably another reason why I have been feeling a bit down and not particularly happy about things. Getting some important changes to things like my diet and other things has been so helpful and I have been able to work out my lethargy and apathy, or my hyperactivity, it was all traced down to the same thing actually. The 89p energy drink from the local shop. Theres something in that, but not in Relentless, that has a bad reaction. Doing my research I found that this was due to the fact that everything it contains is synthetic. So yeah, I'm leaving that shit alone from now on!
2 years ago