I have had a couple of good days and a couple of visits from close friends. After the last few weeks of everything just landing on me again, I think a few days that were nice and pleasurable were definitely what I needed to pick me up a bit, and to be able to just laugh, well THAT was something else entirely, but it does explain my absenteeism these last few days.
The other day, I had a visit from a friend who I hadn't seen for a long time, I mean the last time I saw Tom was the day he married his ex-wife. Nearly 2 years ago or something screwy like that, time really flew and I didn't realise how much had passed and it was amazing to see him again. I couldn't stop smiling, even though my chest was heaving and wanting to have an attack. I really didn't want it to. I slept very well last night and was so comfortable in bed. It's been a while since I could say that.
Yesterday, I was having some quiet time, Steve had popped out for a while and I was watching a film on my laptop and was about to fall asleep on my DS, then the doorbell rang. My friend Rich was there, and I hadn't seen him in so long! Yet it really didn't feel like it had been that long as it was like he had gone back to who he was before she got her claws in, but I really can't be bothered to waste my energy bitching about someone who isn't worth my effort. I'm just glad to get my friend back.
Today, I was visited by JP, I love seeing JP and he always has a funny story or an idea to make us laugh. It makes me happy to have such great friends and lots of good people supporting me through my illness. But it does make me unhappy when I think about things and how much I want to go out and have fun with them.
It has been a week since my last admission and I would REALLY REALLY like to make it to 2 weeks, but the way things are, I really am starting to doubt it. I mean I am OK in myself if not a little quiet and sleepy, but my lungs seem to need more and more nebs just so that I can breathe at the moment which is frustrating. I much prefer the days where I can only use my neb once or twice and that's because I was feeling off, or even one of those good days where I can get by on just inhalers. These aren't often, but when they do happen, I do cherish them and I do like to have some kind of fun.
I found all the spent nebules from yesterday, man I went through so many, especially in the evening when we were thinking maybe I would have had to go in, but it was late, Steve was ready for bed and I didn't fancy a Saturday paramedic who would have been complacent and not really wanted to do an awful lot (round here the weekend medics are generally pants) and well, I really couldn't be bothered with it. As a result, am suffering today and even if I have to neb every 30 minutes or so, I will do anything to stay out of hospital. Yes I am being stubborn, but I just don't want another admission just yet and I know Steve doesn't either.
2 years ago