Maybe its just my general frustration on this whole thing or maybe its just the fact that I know this whole thing is a slow and sometimes irksome process. I would have loved it if things would be perfectly alright again straight away and that the long, slow recovery process wasn't something that I would have to put up with. Unfortunately due to a lot of things and the progression of my condition, its not going to be quite that simple and I am sorry to say it has been extremely painful to deal with. The worst of it is the pain from the Pleurisy. That is something that is to be expected.
Its like having a blister, but rather than it being on the heel of my foot, its in my chest, between the lung and the chest wall. The result of this is a griping pain every time I take a breath, the only thing that helps it is lying on the side that hurts (which becomes difficult when it hurts on both sides) and even brushing it with my hand can leave me whimpering. So if anyone decides to jab me in the ribs over the next few weeks, they can prepare for a torrent of words that are unbecoming of a young lady.
Right now I am just catching up on myself. Even if the smallest tasks are hard work, I know I have to do it. I know I have to slowly build myself back up or I will just end up right back where I started, wheezing and probably getting even worse with the infection. Its got to be a long process and not something I can rush. I know this and its something that just has to happen. I guess the longer between naps or painkillers and nebs is another milestone reached. I am going to get there and I will succeed in making sure that this bout is as short lived as it can be.
Ever since I helped my friend to leave the place she was feeling alone, I have noticed how much nicer it is to live in a home with someone who sees me as a person and not yet another meal ticket. Its nice having someone to socialise with and when we need to blow off some steam, someone who I can play a game with, but won't become unbearable to be around afterwards. Right now we are playing Rockband as well as Guitar Hero, Marvel Vs Capcom and Viva Piniata. Its nice because we can just relax together and then end up laughing madly about something or orher.
We had to fix a few things that had previously been broken or ruined, but with with the right paints (and Becky's incredible skill) and the right purple boot polish, things that had previously faded and been subjected to being coloured in with Sharpie now look as though they're brand new. Along with a fresh cut for my hair and a bright new colour. I actually feel like the old me again. The girl who never let ANYONE get to her and didn't fall or bow down to anyone. It's that strength and attitude that has kept me going, and it is the people who I have met along the way that have taught me a lot about life and everything else.
3 years ago