Well its been just over a week since my last visit to A&E and its been a frustrating one at times. Getting the right medicines at the right time and sorting out a few other things. Its been weird because I had gotten used to hospital visits being a gateway to being screamed at by someone straight afterwards that to have had a year of harmonious visits (and a few new traditions to boot (I.E. Pizza, if we have the money or are hungry)) has been nothing less than bliss. The only thing awaiting me now is a warm hoodie, a cup of tea and lots of rest with either a favourite film or a TV series.
I actually like having someone else around and its nice to have someone to talk to, bounce ideas with and then draw them up after we probably laughed for ages about it. Its great and it motivates me to get up in a morning. On my own I was getting out of bed at about midday after going to bed at 2 AM. My body clock was completely shot and I was surviving on energy drinks. I think in a week I went though at least 5-6 bottles of the stuff. That is asking for bi-polar disorder to become unstable, let alone other problems it was leaving me with. Since cutting the really cheap ones out, things have been a lot calmer and I have been less likely to go insanely hyper or depressed. Its nice to get back in to balance.
Another relaxing thing that has recently been rediscovered is the game "Viva Pinata". The aim of the game is to build a garden full of plants and attract small pinata animals to come and live there. Sounds so simple doesn't it? But there are some challenges along the way, "Sour" pinatas and factory challenges. What I like about it is that I can leave it to do it's own thing for a while, go and make a cup of tea or read something and then come back and something new has come up or I have a new challenge to take on. The creatures are adorable as well so its nice to see all the different ones who like to live in the gardens. That and the noises they make!
Speaking of creatures and adorable noises, the guinea pigs are definitely doing well. The younger ones are growing up to be little characters in themselves and they're becoming a lot more adventurous in themselves. Tenzou is still a little monster, but hes my monster so I love him! Zell, well hes still trying to overwhelm us with incredible feats of cute, but we think thats going to be his thing. Not that we mind though, he really is an adorable creature so I guess it's OK to be subjected to the very cute.
Even so, recently making the choice to not talk constantly about health, hospitals and other such depressing things has been really good for my emotional wellbeing. Its allowed me to think about things that a 24 year old woman thinks about and to not feel like some kind of prisoner to a condition that has ravaged my body and left me feeling depressed. Getting the help from Lee, Sarah and the others on the PDSS to really turn the tables on my life and it really doesn't feel like a year has passed since I was in the YMCA and miserable. Its just so different now. If I were to meet myself from last year I would have given that girl a slap and told her that she has to get out of that situation. But as they say hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I was watching a programme called "The Hoarder Next Door" and my mind was transported back to when I had to deal with that situation. The frustration of saying "Its only ..." because the other person wants for some reason to cling to things. I can be a hoarder myself at times, but a recent clear out with Becky meant we could get rid of all the rubbish. Suddenly the living Tetris is in place and in order. I feel more in order in myself and we have seen so much of an improvement its unreal. I do not ever want to go back to where I was.
4 years ago