I am feeling better today, but I have taken to just watching outside my windows, seeing what people around me are doing and how many people walk past my flat. It is interesting, considering that this was a habit born from a kind of fear, that someone I would rather not see again is watching my home or trying to break in. I would be lying if I hadn't been jumping at every sound for the first couple days on my own, but not now, I lock my door now and I know no-one can come and harm me. It has taken me a while but I really do feel comfortable and safe in my own home.
Sounds kind of silly now when I look back at how jumpy I was at first, almost to the point of near paranoia, but I developed a habit of watching the people around me, wondering where they go, what they do in the day. I have also been venturing out at least once every day, it was scary at first and I worried about what people would say about me, but my confidence has soared recently. This is a positive step as I am finally getting over a lot of fears of the outside world, open spaces and being bullied by the one closest to me.
But now, I just like to sit and just watch. My world is blooming and becoming more interesting and I am loving it because I can feel free and safe. I have been confident again to take photos of my world and using my DSi, I have been able to share them.
I will upload soon, it is obvious to everyone around me that over the last few weeks, I have really come back to life.
3 years ago