Well, I am not going to name and shame the person, but somebody decided he was going to blog about me and tell some pretty vicious lies. Accusing me of lying or hypocrisy, which was never something I ever intended to do. Luckily that person has decided that he shouldn't have written such things and erased it, but at the end of the day, I have to say it is fucking childish to do things like that and I am going to, as I always have, take the moral high ground not retaliate. Instead, I am going to do what I do best, I am going to get on with my life and enjoy every day as if it were my last.
Over the last few days, I have been getting back in touch with the real me and what I like. I pottered around my bedroom, cleaning it up and re-setting it all up in a way that I liked it. I found my bed to be more comfortable and I fell asleep very easily and quickly, but before Steve left, I found the place to be very scary and uncomfortable. It's like a totally different place and finally I feel safe there. I found a few things that I thought I had lost and finished some stitching projects that I had forgotten about. Being in a relationship with Steve, I never could settle down in myself, but that's OK. I am young, I can settle back down again.
Today, I had the confidence with Tom to do something that last year would have both scared and mortified me. I went out in public in a fitted top and the right size jeans. I wasn't poking and prodding myself feeling bulgy or chunky. I was comfortable and very confident. I am finding my old confidence and strength in myself and I don't feel so limited anymore, which can only be a good thing.
3 years ago