I hadn't posted for a few days, mainly because i was trying to work out what was on my mind. Never an easy thing to work out at the best of times, but just lately, I have been lost in a confusion and muddle in trying to work out everything on the fly rather than meticulously planning everything which is more my style. It has been nearly a week since I last opened up what was going on in my head.
I have started Psychotherapy with the local NHS Mental Health Trust. Its been facinating because on the one hand, I can look at where I go wrong and what not to do in the future, but on the other hand, I have been able to finally confront what made me go in to those habits in the first place. Which means then I am going to become able to more to not carry those on. In particular the habit of self criticism and letting problems get on top of me. I am letting myself cope better and letting myself to keep on track. Instead of letting myself fall at the next hurdle.
In myself I feel as though I can get there and I can overcome what is really bothering me and work out where those emotions were born. I know right away that this process isn't going to be either easy nor fun, but I know it is needed in order for me to move on and embrace life for what it is, rather than sinking in to a mire of self pity and sympathy seeking. None of which are in my character to do. My character is generally strong and hard-working, unyielding and happy.
The next few weeks or months are going to be the key to where I go next and what I do next. I am learning slowly to accept my limitations, not as barriers but as something to work around.
Loves
Wendy xx
Quick Update
9 years ago
I see a pychologist and hes good just to talk to that isnt going to rememberr it! Talked allot about how much lifes changed and thats what we are working on accepting it but the feeling as normal I got told.... for once Im normal. It does take me few days after to sort out head again as bring up emotions
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