I never realised when I was there how I had become accustomed to living, eating, sleeping and doing everything else in just the one room. Until we moved in to our new flat. Where as before when I was angry, I had no where I could just go and BE angry and burn it out. Now I have a bedroom or a living room so I can be alone if I need to be. I don't feel anywhere near as gross for eating and sleeping in the same place.
That isn't to say that having separate rooms to sleep and live isn't without it's issues. One of which has hit me particularly as it is something that really only affects me to any real extent is the fact that I have my 2 nebuliser compressors, a Micro-Air which is great but eats batteries and a fantastic Freeway Freedom which is tough and is just a great machine. I had to think long and hard about things and finally made my decision, I was going to need a new compressor for the bedroom. After some deliberation, research and looking at space, I made my decision and have ordered myself a Medix AC1000. A small, but powerful little gadget which is supposed to do 3ml in 10 minutes, which when I just want my neb and to sleep, is a relief.
I have been known to sleep my way through a neb before now, usually by the point, I will admit, I should probably be heading towards a hospital, but my stubborn nature makes me want to fight it out until I can't anymore which is my biggest flaw. It isn't just my asthma that I fight. I fight against everything because, heaven forbid, should I be considered weak or unable, I just want to prove to everyone I can. Call it my nature or a dangerous game to play with myself.
Today, everything caught up with me. All the running around, cleaning, decorating, Everything. All I wanted to do again was sleep. So I slept all morning in the living room (after being chucked out of bed so the bedding got a wash) on the sofa. I actually didn't intend to fall asleep, it just sort of happened. I woke up and turned off the TV I'd ignored and went back to sleep.
Yeah, that was the highlight of my day, sad really, BUT that is a bank holiday for you.
2 years ago