For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Chronic IBS, Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Saturday, 9 April 2011

I feel so Guilty.

Why is it that whenever I am given  at least one little thing to make my life just that little easier, I am made to feel so incredibly guilty, almost as though I ask for any of this or that I am some how using it as some kind of oneupmanship. Which I'm not. I am just making the best of a bad situation and claiming what I am entitled to in order to clear the bills and make sure that we don't end up in the same situations we were in back at the old place.

My ESA has been increased, but only in my part and not Steve's. I have been awarded a couple of extra components because of my disability and limited capability for work. This is a separate thing from our usual ESA payments and totals an extra £53 for me each week. Steve is upset as it isn't for him and decided that he was going to sulk, strop and storm around. Being intimidating and making me feel bad because I am entitled to a little bit of extra money. Money I can use to pay extra bills, pay off MY debts and generally replace everything I had to sell because of him and finish redecorating our home. Heck with this extra, I can sort out a washing machine and pay off Penny for her generous help in getting a fridge and cooker for our flat. As well as paying the cable bill and making sure that there is always food in the cupboards, money on both meters and phones without the CEX runs and having to scrimp to make ends meet.

Where was I wrong in all of this? Why did he go from nice to douche with the opening of an envelope?

I am really REALLY hoping that this is a one off.

Loves
Wendy xx

1 comment:

  1. You shouldn't feel guilty as though you live together and share things there are some things as a couple are indervidual even in a normal relationship you are never going to earn the same amount. The thing you could work out is taking in account of each others earning is the % of the housholds bills. When you a living togehter than it isn't yours and his bills its the both of you.
    Then have to look at you were awarded the extra money as less able and have your own struggles that he isn't living. He shouldn't expect to get things just as you are. He seems very childish when it comes to money almost as hes jealous and I know if it was me I would most likely end up saying something like 'do you want my lungs and then can get the money'
    I know might just be me not seeing the full situation here but dont feel like you have to stick with something that is broken when you are scared that you might not getting anything better. I do understand people do have faults but in true love you end up loving the faults and living with them.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your comment. I will review it as soon as possible!

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