Ever have one of those days where there is just so many things bugging you that you can't seem to just have quiet serenity? I think today is one of those days. I spend so much time taking the step back from my problems and looking at them from another perspective that I forget to take the step forward. As a result, I forget that the thing I was looking at was actually the reality of my own life, and its like a bubble bursts and all I can see is the cold reality of what my life is and that leaves me feeling blue and longing for my old life.
My old life was a lot more positive and comfortable and my body wasn't slowly falling apart from under me. I used to be able to walk for miles and not have to think about inhalers, nebulisers or a cocktail of pills that keep me going. I guess thats why I started getting annoyed with Steve telling everyone and anyone about his 50mg of Sertraline and shouting about it in public. These things aren't a novelty, they are real things and they have real effects on you. I take the same drug, and I have 3 times that and I don't complain about it or boast as NO ONE CARES. Maybe what rattled my cage is the fact he was on about having 1 pill a day, when I have a whole mess of pills and other things, call me silly, but I thought that was a little insensitive and tactless, but that could be just me.
I guess I never wanted to see what was happening to me as its not pretty nor is it fun. It makes me wonder why someone would want to be exactly in my shoes?
2 years ago