You know something funny? Whenever you feel like your life is a mess and that you should give up and there is that one voice in a million that says "No... keep trying..." and when you actually stop and take a second, you come to see just how simple things are. How much easier it is to live a life without secrets with the people you love most and how much better you feel when you don't feel like you're holding some dirty little secret locked away deep inside yourself. You start wondering why you felt so scared of them and then you reconnect with both the person you want to be and that person you used to be.
It's all a perspective thing really and sometimes you really have to ask yourself what exactly is it that has upset you? And why is it so insurmountable that no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get it? I don't believe that for one second. I never have. I never will. Everything has a solution, you just have to work at it sometimes. For example, as I write this, I am lying in bed feeling completely battered by an infection and my asthma is refusing to settle itself down so I can get better. I have spent a lot of my weekend just sleeping but I still feel optimistic that eventually we can cure this thing and sooner rather than later, I will be back to some kind of normality once again. I would be lying if I didn't admot that there are days when I feel upset by the whole thing but again, its all down to how you see it. Seeing things in a positive light can make all the difference in my opinion. No pain lasts forever.
I have been keeping myself cheered up by playing with my latest new models (pre-ordered and paid for sometime last year, but they were delivered this week), 2 Trading Arts Kai figurines. They're miniature versions of popular characters done in a very cute style (known as chibi), each includes a number of accessories, a change of costume and different faces, also nicknamed Nendoroids. The fun thing with them is that you can mix and match costumes and facial expressions to suit your mood. The 2 I have are Sephiroth (naturally) and Aerith. I haven't done much with Aerith yet, but I have experimented with her costumes and accessories. As for Sephiroth, he has had a few photos taken of his antics and he has fast become one of my favourite models as yet. As you can see, as an idea of how small this model is, he stands next to one of my Ventolin inhalers. Over time, I am hoping to photograph the models in various different places and doing different things. Kind of a photography project. Besides, when I go and see people, I tend to carry one with me so that I can take photos of people with the models, kind of a proof that I have met them in real life. It's a fun way of doing things.
I think the idea of photography came when I took Sephy out of his box and had changed his face to the sleeping face. I was holding him in my hand and talking to Becky about something until I looked down and saw something that inspired me. A tissue paper blanket later, and the shot came together. A small sleeping character choosing to nap in the palm of my hand. I have been sharing the shots on DeviantART and they have been incredibly popular with other fans. I think that in doing some of these shots, I do allow myself to kind of let loose a bit, maybe with a number of props, costumes and ideas.I do like to experiement with my ideas and sometimes I get something a little bit more conscise than others, but thats alright by me, it's all a part of my art and the process I take to create the things I do. I guess there really is more to me than what I can do with a pencil and piece of paper and I love showing the world what I am capable of.
I guess there is truth to the concept that the truth is in the eye of the beholder. We look everywhere for beauty but we never seem to take it in. I believe that we all have the power and confidence inside of us to make of our lives what we want and only the weak would pass that up or decide that it is another's fault if we failed to achieve what we set out to do.
2 years ago