I think my mind is calm when I am on the move. It is in my nature to want to keep moving around, exploring wherever the roads take me. I love going to new places and looking around, but I am even happier when I get home and put my feet up. They say home is where the heart is. To me, my home is more than just the bricks, concrete and glazing.
My home is just the right size and for the two of us, it is our safe haven, our place to just relax in front of the TV or cook something tasty in the kitchen and share it between us. Becky and I really do live like sisters, we share everything and there are so many times where we have relied on each other's support and friendship. We love it here. The neighbors love us and we are part of the small and warm community. We even sit and talk to the children around the area as well as their parents. Its like we all look out for each other.
I do admit that whenever I see something that my ex broke through spite or yelled at me for treating myself to, I do feel a mixture between anger and sadness that things went the way that they did. But at the end of the day, I can honestly say I tried to leave the bridges as they were, but he wasn't really interested in me. He just wanted to try and pull the rug out from under me, but I refuse to let that happen at all. I love my home and it is going to take a lot more than one person to make me feel vulnerable or scared, or to give up my own home altogether. My home is special and unique, one of a kind and no one could ever change that. It's not perfect, and a lot of the furniture doesn't quite match, but it's homely and we fill it with laughter and mirth.
I have a really great feeling that the next few months are going to be the making of me. I'm going to go from strength to strength and the person I am growing up to be (yes, even I have been doing a lot of growing up myself over the last year or so). I would be lying if I said that my disability was ever part of my plans, but I never knew just how strong I could actually be and it has been since my disability really became a huge part of my life that I have come to learn that and how I could survive despite it all and manage to keep my chin up.
Recent events and being caught in that rain on Saturday meant that my chest was a touch temperamental and it made me feel rotten as a result. Lucky for me, Becky understood this and kindly helped me feel less scared or frustrated. All I have planned now is going to see Jace and spending time with him. No one can take that away from me and I am going to cherish the precious time I get with Jace. I won't let anyone spoil it or make me afraid of enjoying myself.
3 years ago