It is funny how songs can sometimes come to us and the message that they try and pass on can either have a profound effect or even sometimes some messages take a while to hit us. The song I heard earlier this week was by the country star Taylor Swift. Not my usual choice in music, but something about the song "Mean" seemed to get me thinking.
It was about how some people can use vicious words and cruel actions to pick on those who they perceive as "weaker" or "beneath" them. It reminded me of my recent events in where I had to up with someone trying their hardest to usurp my home from under me. Pointing out things like my mental health issues "as if I don't already see them" and doing his best to make me feel vulnerable and scared. What I learned about the whole thing was the ins and outs of housing law and once this is all sorted out, I will be more than happy to see it all finally come to an end and both parties can move on and get on with their own lives.
I have no idea on what he will do with his life, and to be honest I really couldn't care less. As far as I am concerned, he has made the rod for his own back and that isn't my problem. If I saw him again in 100 years it would be too soon... As for me, well I am doing my own thing and living by the rules I choose. My intention is now to go on and make the best of my life. Because of everything, I know I will never ever be able to recover the damage of him, but I will do my best to live my life as best I can, even if that means coping with the scarred together sections of my lungs. Whereas he will never learn and will continue to carry on as he thinks. At the end of the day, is just going to be mean and thats all he will ever be.
One day though I will be in a place where no one can hit me or make me feel like that ever again. I can enjoy good times and build some memories that I will never forget. I can have a shining future and hopefully see less of the local hospital or any other hospital for that matter. I have even set up my own "Bucket" list and with it a fair number of things that I will love to do and, given the chance, I will do. Things such as raise money for charity as well as going on a holiday with the people I adore, and maybe even someday, I will get married.
I guess for now, I am just making the best of what I have. I am enjoying my life and soon I will be free of the anchor that is trying it's best to pull me back down.
4 years ago