Everytime I think that I couldn't get any more tired than the episode before, my body really does like to prove it can do one better! After my last few hospital runs, I was tired, stressed and irritable as hospital had become a bit of a negative experience. Not because of the being in and having things done to me, but more the effect this had on Steve. He would get stroppy and aggressive for days after, for reasons even he doesn't even know. It is a lot to put up with sometimes.
This time there has been none of it, but could that be the fact that this attack was one of the worst ones I had ever had. What got me was I was so terrified of going in because of Steve's reactions to me being in hospital, I fought this bugger for 2 days. 2 days of nebbing, hoping and trying my best to not have a huge one. Unfortunately we all know what happens when it comes to the best laid plans of mice and men, or should we say "hamsters and Wendy's". It, as it was destined to, went completely awry and I was so sick, had the Magnesium not done it, I would be lying in ITU this very moment.
This has only just sunk in, and it has really rattled me. I have had close calls, but nothing to this extremity or to this kind of effect. I really need to stop fighting this and just accept it, when I need to go in, I NEED TO GO IN OR I WILL DIE, and at only 23 years old, I really have too much to do first, as nice as the idea of the Rainbow Bridge is, I am not ready to go there. Not just yet.
It was strange, although I only did a few things today, nothing too strenuous, I am absolutely exhausted and am actually getting ready for bed at an early time. Neighbors permitting of course!
2 years ago