Is it me or are the simpler things always the nicest? I think just lately and after such a scary admission on Monday, I really have just taken stock of everything around me and looking at everything from a different angle. Normally by this stage of the week, I would frankly be really bored and grousing for something to do with my time. These last few days, I just took to relaxing to music, rediscovering bands and songs that I like, and I mean REALLY like. I think we take small things for granted as we forget that they are only there because we work for them.
I am still carrying my I Pod round with me, rather like a small child with a teddy bear, and every chance I get, I just seem to be either listening to my music or playing on the PSP. OK its been mainly on the X box as well just lately, but where I am on FF XIII you really have to grind the levels to get anywhere, which can get tedious and frustrating. I mean, I have walked around the same environments and beaten up the same monsters for the umpteenth time in the last few days, but as soon as my levels are maxed out completely and the weapons and accessories can't upgrade further, I will then look at fighting the rather ominous looking boss that seems to be looming at the end of the road.
I think that just lately, I have just been blowing off steam and venting my frustrations over everything. Waiting for something to happen. Unfortunately, I can,t keep waiting as I know in myself that there really isn't that much that can be done for me at the moment. Unless of course it is found that my sputum samples do grow something, and then they will treat for mild Bronchiectasis which would entail all kinds of prophylactic antibiotics and physio to help me clear my chest a bit more effectively. I have to email my consultant's secretary soon and make an appointment. I emailed him yesterday and told him everything that had been going on these last few weeks and he wants to see me, catch up and get everything back on track, I am on 40mg of Pred today and its getting on my nerves, but I have had this rant many times before.
Today, I managed to get out for a bit, Ant was off to Evesham for a spot of job hunting, and asked if I would like to go with him. I jumped at the chance to get out of here for a little bit, have some time for myself and get some space. At times being stuck at home when there really isn't an awful lot anyone can do about it can get more irritating than anything else. I think after a while the walls start to close in around you and all you really want is to just get out and escape for a little while. I do admit there are times I do miss my independence, where as before I used to come and go as I pleased and only had to worry about going to work, but I also realise that I can all to easily fall in to dispair and that wouldn't help anyone really.
Enough of my ramblings really, I hope you are all keeping well.
2 years ago