It is a bit of an open secret that I LOVE aromatherapy and natural bathing products, but with skin like mine, anything else leaves you cracked, sore and scaly so whats a little expense really when it comes to looking, feeling and of course smelling good. Plus, the effect certain smells can have on the mind is something that is just as important really. I discovered something yesterday as I walked in to my local Lush shop (its a new venture in our town, but it certainly distracted me from my yen for Broccoli and Stilton soup, an acquired taste but I do love it.) and was enchanted by this smell of vanilla and lavender. Well I thought it was Vanilla. Turns out what I could smell and was enjoying was a bath bomb called Twilight (not named after the books and films, but the time between dusk and nightfall). I had to get one.
Since buying one, I have been sniffing it almost every few minutes. I have left it in the main room for now to perfume the air, and lungs aren't acting up as a result. This is a rarity in itself really. OK so I still feel cruddy and tired and my temp is still up, BUT... I truly feel that a boost to morale is JUST what the doctor ordered. Its not that I'm feeling sorry for myself, I just go through phases of just feeling a bit fed up and like my body is taking a marathon beating. Colds, Flu, Bronchitis, Pneumonia, other LRTI's, it can sometimes be like a treadmill, that is unstoppable and you can't just jump off. So you keep on running and go through the motions.
Sometimes you just feel like you want to give up and succumb to everything, but then you remember what it was that kept you fighting in the first place. For me, it has been the determination not to become yet another statistic in a long line. According to Asthma UK there is a death because of Asthma in the UK every 7 hours. I really don't want to be the next one to go, but I know that eventually my time will come. Until then, I want to do everything I want to. My friend asked me what my dreams are or my "Bucket List." A "Bucket List" is a list of things that I want to do before I go. I thought I would share my dreams with all of you, right now.
My Bucket List - By Wendy Bostock.
1. Complete my HND Media and graduate.
2. Be well enough to get and hold down a steady job.
3. To hold my own child despite my PCOS.
4. Learn to Drive.
5. Become a nurse.
6. Have my "Another Day In Midgar" stories either published or recognized by Square Enix.
8. Get married.
9. Go to Tokyo.
10. Meet Linkin Park.
I know these are small and some are silly or unrealistic dreams, but they are my dreams and they are the things that keep me going. If I were to be realistic, I know I would probably never be well enough to be a nurse, but if I never tried, I think I would regret that more wouldn't I?
"Embrace your Dreams" - Angeal Hewley, SOLDIER 1st Class.