Mixed feelings...

Have you ever had mixed feelings about a situation but really have no idea where it is you should turn to for either advice or just some sort of confirmation that you are doing the right thing.

My worries are about Steve's little brother, Luke. Luke lives in a squalid house that you smell before you see. He is never looked after properly and it scares me that he is being neglected so much. While everything inside screamed at me to phone the social, everything else says give him another chance. Even though we have given him more chances than we can even count on both our fingers and toes. I encouraged Steve to take action and start the council on an investigation. But was I right in doing this? Everyone who knows the score says yes, but theres this part of me that is waiting to be told to STFU frankly and I guess I'm just feeling so lost right now. I love Luke, he is like either my own child or little brother and would love to give him a home where he is safe, loved and free from psychological bullying from his dad. I pray to every deity going that he doesn't end up being just as beaten down, depressed and unhappy as Steve did. It was bad enough that one of them went through this.

As for me? Well I've just kept quiet ready to be the first in the firing line on this one, the scapegoat. I am always so ready to look out for every one else and make sure they're going to be OK. I learned a long time ago to always help others, and thats what I always did.

My infection has left me feeling tired and weak, but my neighbor still insists on being noisy, while he sits on his backside all day getting high and drinking cheap cider. He is unemployed, but unlike me he is actually well enough to work. I won't get back in to THIS rant, but I think it's obvious what I think.

I'm going to go and get what rest I can, until it all begins anew tomorrow...

Love ya all!
Wendy x