Have you ever had one of those days where everything just sucks? You know, things like you burn your toast or miss your bus or someone just rubs you up the wrong way? Or is that a typical Monday feeling really?
Today has been one of those off days. I woke up this morning and everything was hurting, my back (from lying funny), my joints and worst of all, my chest. It hurts some days because of the fact it takes just more and more effort on some days just to take a breath in and out. This can be scary and the extra effort can leave me somewhat exhausted and drained. I guess that is just how I feel at the moment. I just feel very drained and tired. Using my nebuliser more than I would really want to, but the inhaler just doesn't cut it sometimes.
I was reading a post on the Asthma UK forum this morning and it was about one poor sufferer and her surgery only allowing 3 Ventolin inhalers a year. 3! I can go through that in a month, heck before I got my nebuliser, I was going through 2 a week! I'm glad my doctor doesn't limit me like that.
Although there are times I wish it was that simple, just a blue inhaler once in a while, but I guess this is a test of my character and inner strength. I refuse to let this illness beat me. I gave in to my emotions too many times in the past and it caused problems, lost me friends and gained me enemies. I broke my hand punching a door in temper, I slashed my arm in anger with a freezer saw, but I'm not ashamed of myself anymore, I'm proud to be me. I'm happy that I don't hide anymore.
I may not always win, but even a small victory is a victory non the less.
3 years ago