I woke this morning and felt a bit sore but not as miserable. Maybe it was the knowing that my infection has been caught early enough to treat it easily and with hope that we may have prevented weeks of grueling treatment with antibiotics, hospital trips and that horrible feeling of being on a treadmill that you can't turn off no matter how hard you try. I mean there have been points in the last few years where I have been on antibiotics for over a month which my body took violent exception to! There is just no such thing as a "kind" antibiotic or steroid so it does get somewhat frustrating after a while.
I do find that now my infections are not as vicious and don't hit me anywhere near as hard as they did before. No they're not exactly much fun but they do give me time to relax and reflect on things. I mean one of the main thing I reflected on recently was the conflict that has been going on. I shall not go in to details as to be honest I do not want to seem like I am fueling a fire that I had long since decided to not even be a part of. Not because I am running from the past and looking at it as though I was completely innocent, but purely for the reason that I do not think that carrying on with this will do anyone any good. I will not however let anyone violate my HUMAN RIGHT to privacy and should this continue then I will pursue the matter further. My past is just that. MY PAST. If I want it put out on the internet for all to see then I (and only I) have the right to do so. It is not for some narcissistic sociopath to do for me, but as I say I am willing and prepared to take this matter further if this person persists on harassing me and violating my privacy.
As for my own life, well lets see, I am back to doing the things that make me feel good again. I spent 2 hours today just sketching some drawings of both Bizarro and Safer Sephiroth. For those who are familiar with Final Fantasy 7 will recognise these creatures as you have to battle against them at the end of the game (Bizarro has to be defeated in a certain way whereas Safer you just have to full on go for it, of course being aware of the supernova attack!). I found the creatures to be a thing of sheer beauty and they have a powerful yet scary presence. To beat them that day was like I had won the Final Fantasy lottery, I was beaming for a long time! I'll be scanning them in later and working on them from the computer, along with a few other creatures and things I drew recently.
I find drawing so liberating and I can just take my emotion out on the page. Colouring and shading, I have found a new material to use and they really allow me to shade and leave a lovely effect, and saves my black crayolas!! Instead I use the Faber Castel black drawing pencils. They leave a smooth effect and blend nicely with a paintbrush. I would like to get back in to painting again too. Maybe a few monsters can brighten up the flat!
4 years ago