I think that the hype of "Yay! I'm OK!!" has officially worn off. Yesterday I was bouncing off the walls cleaning and sorting things out, today I'm drowsy, lethargic and just want to sleep until I feel better. After the adrenaline of an attack I crash about 2 days later after a day of restlessness and feeling like I need to run circles around everyone. Usually its a case of getting that restless energy in to something constructive like tidying the bedroom or drawing.
Today I think is a day of rest and sleep. Allowing myself time to heal my rib (which somehow was cracked in 3 places) and fend off this infection. Being me has 3 certain things:
1. No matter how hard you try, there will always be another attack just waiting for you. Take them as they come and carry on treating things on a day to day basis. Rest when you can and don't worry too much about other people complaining or the mud they feel the need to sling.
2. No matter how much you think you screwed up, the people you care about will always be there to support you. Chances are it probably wasn't that big a deal anyway so its better just to let it go. Life is better spent in the here and now.
3. No matter how much something sucks there is always a positive, even if you don't see it at the time. It helps to just laugh it off and make a joke about it. I do it all the time and to be honest, people are so much more receptive to someone in good spirits than a miserable sod who plays the victim.
I try to stay upbeat about life. Because if I let things get to me, where is that going to lead? I've already defied the odds on my life expectancy and even if it means getting help, I am trying to live as normal a life as possible. I just need to learn to take a backseat once in a while...