Every 2 weeks, we go shopping and yesterday was a little more fun than usual. Usually, I wind up getting wound up and having to deal with Steve's constant "I want" or "look at this, buy this" routine. I admit it is much easier to do when you have back up, and I was assertive. I held my ground and said no. I brought things we needed, some supplements which will help my back and other joints and managed to get everything sorted. It was fun going with Penny and for once I didn't get close to losing my temper.
It's not that I hate shopping, its just that I hate the feeling of pressure and duress that you feel in the supermarket. I have no idea what it is, but the anxiety can really get to me, then when I say "no" then I feel flooded with guilt and have self-harm urges. I guess then I will have to learn not to allow anyone to make me feel bad about anything.
Todayn I spent the day tidying the flat up and cleaning down my latest acquisition. A Yamaha Electone FC-20 Electronic Organ. An unusual item and one that probably will keep me amused for a good while, it was big and heavy to move and its taken a while to work out what does what but it's been fun, and a little funny.
Local kids always make me laugh, but today, I think I really shocked the little girl next door because I was using my nebuliser, while sitting on the sofa with the door open for some fresh air. She was just watching the nebuliser, probably as she had never seen it before or what it does. How do you explain to a 5 year old how that works or why its needed. It was hard enough to explain why there was an ambulance here last week. I felt bad for her really as she is so young and doesn't really understand what is going on or why the lady next door is so poorly.
3 years ago