I needed to go away and reflect and that allow Steve some time to adjust, and centre himself a bit better. He has had a rough few days and he needed some time to come to terms with the fact that the relationship has ended, I am not ever going to even CONSIDER taking him back and I really think we should have split up a lot sooner than we did. It has been one of the more amicable splits that I have ever had, instead of screaming at each other madly and angrily. I never did like the whole bitchiness that comes with break ups and I have always tried my damndest to make sure that that never ever happened.
I think its amazing though, when we step back from our situation, we finally see it for what it was and how miserable as people we were. We rarely ever talked, apart from having massive arguements where I would be so angry that I would self harm so much, either by punching things or even cutting myself just to feel not as miserable or numb. I locked away all my emotions to the point where I was pretty much a zombie. When we did talk it was always a snipe or a lot of back-biting and screaming at each other. I was sick and being yelled at for being sick. Not that that was ever my fault.
I think now, I am happy and I can look back and say "Yeah, that was shitty and it really should have ended sooner" but they are right in saying that we never learn in life until it is too late. Now, I have just been engaged in a wonderful slagging match over Facebook, and :
- Steven Tomes and they miss you, along with Anima and Yoda they have all been looking for you.51 minutes ago ·
- Steven Tomes I know, and no matter how much I try coming to terms with it is just not happening, I cant hel but see this place as my home.38 minutes ago ·
- Wendy Jayne Bostock i know, i think when you finally leave there, you'll be able to change that37 minutes ago ·
- Wendy Jayne Bostock Although it is a place full of my things and to my tastes, you said often that you never saw it as home and that you hated being there, I just dont know what more I can do36 minutes ago ·
- Steven Tomes yes and I'll be going to another persons home filled with their things and decorated to their tastes, and I'll hate having to be there because I have nowhere else to go for an undetermined time.31 minutes ago ·
- Wendy Jayne Bostock I can't wave a magic wand over all of this. I can't make it all better and continue in a farcical shell of a relationship where no one was happy, my confidence and self worth was shot and I was getting to the point of doing something stupid because i was just that unhappy and i never felt like there was a way out29 minutes ago ·
- Wendy Jayne Bostock We were miserable, i never smiled. I was always the bad guy and you cant make me feel like that anymore, you dont have the right to dictate to me how you dont want to leave the flat because you felt like it was home when it suited you. whenever you were in a mard, it was like you were there through force27 minutes ago ·
- Steven Tomes that isn't the reason I've been upset I knew the relationship was dead back when we were living in the YMCA, I knew that the best option was that one of us stay there while the other one moves on I tried to tell you this on several occasions but you reused to listen so when I tried to break it off in the week we were tenants in both places you made me give you the keys and key cards20 minutes ago ·
- Wendy Jayne Bostock you want to get bitchy steve, i have been MORE than fair about all of this,18 minutes ago ·
- Steven Tomes I tried to walk but you wanted to "sort things out", and yes you have been more than fair but you have to admit you were fighting for a doomed cause.16 minutes ago ·
- Wendy Jayne Bostock too right i did. i fought for doomed cause because at the time, i hoped beyond hope we could have made this work. i regretted it every day since the move, heck i regretted it when i tried to throw you out and the crocodile tears started15 minutes ago ·
- Steven Tomes that was only the once, but I'll not go into that further.11 minutes ago ·Wendy Jayne Bostockthere really is not enough i'm sorrys in you. you spent the last 2 years breaking me physically, mentally and every other way it suited you, yet here you are on the internet trying to make me look like the bad guy in all of this. I wont let you do that now, you knew you were on thin ice. You knew you would have eventually killed me. and you know that by doing this, you are not showing me up as I am handling this really maturely and appropriately, you are showing everyone who reads this just how spineless and pathetic you really are and how much it has hurt your pride because I kicked you out and made the decisions in a place where I paid the bills, I DID THE DECORATING and making the place habitable while you sat there and whined the whole time like a little boy who lost his favorite toy. Now I am sorry it has come to this, but at the end of the day, if you really want to know how low I think you are, well congrats to you. you have found out8 minutes ago ·Wendy Jayne Bostock You turned my strength in to my weakness. You made me feel so worthless and vulnerable every single day so I stopped being me. What you really did was show the world and yourself just how much of a weak and pitiful individual you really are.6 minutes ago · Now I am not one for this kind of thing, but when you deliberately try and get up my nose, I will get nasty
LovesWendy xx
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