I've been working hard recently on my drawings. I find drawing so much of a positive use of my time and money (I admit I do shop for the high end, decent materials because well you get what you pay for in quality, plus cheap stuff never looks good anyway). It gives me something to work on and when its done, it is heartening to have someone look at your book and enjoyn what they see. It makes me feel good and no one can ever take that away from me.
Right now, my project has been drawing the cute Pokémon characters I've come across in the game. I'm playing Y/X at the moment (I've completed the story of X admittedly) and I have hundreds of these cute creatures. When my carers come, I do like it when they ask if I've drawn anything new. I'll never be a manga drawing master but I'd like to think my work is at least making people happy. The only thing that bugs me is that the alcohol based markers I use (I use Letraset Promarkers) are a bit heavy on my chest. Its a shame really because the colour laydown is so smooth and they blend well. (Colourless blender pens, probably one of the most important as I use them to blend lines, shade and generally do with my hands what I used to rely on digital touch ups to do.) I do recommend them even if they are a bit pricey. As I say, when it comes to art equipment, you get what you pay for and these pens are brilliant.
I'm lucky to have something to just do for fun. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have my own place to belong and make my mark on. As I've often said, I may not be able to do much but I do like to do things properly. My lungs may be failing but its not going to mean the end. One day I'll get some new lungs and when that happens, I'll carry on making my life as good as it can be. I don't mope about the past, to be honest, I don't ever give the people who hurt me the satisfaction in even being in the background of my life. They don't exist in my life. They don't deserve to have any part of the weird and wonderful life I have and they don't deserve to make me feel miserable. After all, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Besides who would choose abject misery over the chance to enjoy life. I choose to live my life and do the things that matter to me. Life is short so we should make the most of it.
Natt will be moving on soon, I won't divulge the details as its not my place to disclose someone's personal details without consent. People are entitled to privacy. I won't lie, it'll be nice to have my living room back and when we finish doing it up, it'll be lovely. That doesn't mean that I won't miss having him around. The thing with a close friendship like that is that no matter what, there's always someone to have your back and you have theirs. It was good to help out a friend during their time of need. I didn't do it for anything else, just that he needed a place and I had room. To be honest, last year was a trying one for us both, we both had major health blows and we supported each other. And even when he's not living here, we won't be strangers. After everything, I don't think we ever could be. We are all like siblings here and we look out for each other. We have been friends for nearly a decade after all.
I don't think I could be without all my friends and family, including the furry critters. Its hard to imagine but my little Tenzou is 3 years old now. I remember when I first got him and his brother, how tiny they start out. I remember a time when I could hold Bumble in my hand and his ears were huge compared to the rest of him. Its weird to see my little fluffy boy become the cute, crazy little thing he's become. They're all special and they all have their own funny little characters. This is why I love them. The bunnies too. Ginger and Loki have grown up well from those tiny little kittens, and they really were tiny. Don't think my house would be a home without them.
I'm just hoping to get better over the next few days. My lungs have been full of muck again and I've still got the strange spots all over my neck, chest and back. We don't know what it is but it seems that whatever it is, its possibly reached a systemic level which could be dangerous so it may result in a trip to the horrible place but I don't want to say too much. If it happens it happens.