For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Crohns Disease (my IBS was rediagnosed as Crohns), Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I have recently also been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea (which makes me stop breathing in my sleep) I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen and CPAP.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Monday, 29 December 2014

Is it over yet?!

So... I am actually thinking of expanding the blog a bit, maybe get more publicity for it and even get it more recognised in the right circles. I started this blog on the 27th October 2010 and back then, all it was about was getting through a few personal things and I never really imagined just how far I would come in a short space of time. To be honest, when I started this, we were told that I probably wouldn't make it to 25 and now I am pushing because I want to get to 30. I want this to be my legacy and I want it to serve as a reminder to anyone that you can get through things, even if they seem hard or scary. Sadness isn't a forever thing and no situation is hopeless.

The one thing that I have learned most about my condition is how variable it can be. How it can affect one person and leave them debilitated yet another person can have it and they can still go and do things, they aren't housebound or spend weeks on hospital wards. The cruel thing is, that because hardly anyone ever sees those of us whose asthma is puzzling and hard to comprehend, they don't actually KNOW what it's like. They don't see the days where all the muscles in your chest are tight enough to make you feel like you're about to pop. They don't sit there and wait for an impossible amount of prescription medications at the pharmacy and then spend the days later having to go through and make up doses, which can be so variable depending on what my chest is like on any given day. I have good days and I have days where I am wondering when I can just curl up and hibernate until its all better again. I have to be strong, even when things are horrible or scary and I have to smile, even on the days and times that really all I want is to fall apart and scream because honestly, it never actually needed to get to this point.

But it did.

I didn't ever ask for any of it, but in some ways, I am, well not really glad (I don't think I know ANYONE who would be glad of being sick), but thankful for the chance to still be here and to have learned as much as I have about myself and I think it has made me stronger and more level headed about the world around me as well as how much is taken for granted until its taken away suddenly. You do sometimes have to lose everything to find something worth having.

Eventually, everyone will lose everything but in working to get it back, they will gain so much more in themselves. I lost a lot of things due to others being in control of my life and having things with-held when they shouldn't have been. By letting them have that control, I gave my life to them only to end up with it being completely changed, but the one thing that taught me was to fight for myself, even if people didn't "like" what I said or did. I'm glad I fought and I am going to keep fighting because, well, I'm not ready to lie down and let this beat me.

The next year or so may be uncertain, but I can feel something in the air. I can feel change, something that will be difficult at first but will soon make sense around the summer. My friendships are going to be stronger than ever and I will really need them around when things start happening because once that train starts, there's no stopping it. I'm not too sure what that means yet, but I think it is something I need to look at and work out at a later time.

So, here's to another year of growth and strength. Lets see if we can make another one happen!

Wendy xx

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