I've been away for a while in terms of blogging. I think I needed some time to clear my own head and think about moving on, not from my blogging, but from events from the past that bore memories that just made me feel miserable. It's going well and I am finding myself gaining more and more confidence in both myself and those around me. I don't feel as scared anymore and actually enjoy it outside of the flat. My scooter has been a welcome change to my life and I am more than happy to go up to town on it or go out for a rumble. It's like I have my freedom back. I feel free to enjoy my life again and not be inhibited by breathlessness or pain.
As part of the reforms, I had my ESA and DLA reassessed recently. For some people, that letter and that questionnaire on the doormat can be such a daunting thing and a cause for a lot of stress and worry. The company, ATOS are renowned for their lack of sympathy and their unfair assessments and for a lot of people, what they decide can be the difference between living comfortably and living in serious poverty. The form itself is a daunting one and I spent over 2 days (in short sittings) filling it out and painting an accurate picture of what my life is like. Also my doctor was contacted and he backed up my form with his view of my health problems. Luckily for me, my ESA was decided to continue as before (as I am in the "Support" group) and that I wouldn't be losing my DLA at any time soon. So this in itself has allowed me a sense of stability and I have been endeavouring to get my finances back in to order (something that is actually going well for once) and concentrating on paying my bills on time.
Between us, Becky and I don't live in luxury but by living sensibly and making sure that all the bills are paid on time, we live relatively well. Neither of us has to go without and we support each other as we need to. It's a nice, relaxed way of life and one that has given both of us a great sense of happiness because we have both found out what works.
Just recently, I have been working out my new (albeit 2nd hand) iPod. I upgraded in the end because my old Nano was getting a bit on the old side and well, I fancied an upgrade to something new and a with a bit more to entertain me. Becky has had an iPod touch for a long time now so she showed me the best, and worst features of them. Things like accessing Twitter and Facebook as well as games provide a welcome distraction on those days when you just need to take your mind off things. Right now I am hooked on the popular game "Nyan Cat" which probably needs no formal introduction. The other day when my asthma decided that it had had enough, we sat playing in the corridor (anything to help me relax and breathe easier as I was struggling a little despite being on oxygen) while waiting for a cubicle (admittedly after a couple of hours, I dozed off a bit, I was so exhausted!).
I'm not recovering very well at the present. Maybe its the shock of the cold snap we had or it could be other factors, but this is a stubborn infection that refuses to budge yet again. I am hoping that after a few more days of antibiotics, painkillers, nebs and steroids, I should be back on track sooner rather than later. One welcome change in things right now is the addition of our lovely new guinea pig (after the loss of the beautiful Zell ) called Kibou and our new rats (as Eva passed away suddenly), Dante (who is Becky's) and Virgil (who is my rat). Dante is a dead spit of Lightening but hes not anywhere near as smelly or as grumpy. Virgil has her nose though! But hes a bit shy but does enjoy a brief cuddle in my arms and a play with his brother. Dante is a more adventurous rat who loves running up Becky's arms and her sleeves! They're entertaining pets to watch and after only a week we are fond of them. Kibou is a little baby and since meeting Tenzou he has really found himself someone to play with. I think Tenzou needed a younger pup to keep in check rather than having an older pig bossing him about!
It's been a weird couple of weeks but things are progressing and everything is, dare I say it, going EXACTLY how I want it to be.
4 years ago