The last few days for me have been spent in quiet contemplation. In that cathartic process of drawing, bringing characters to life for some odd kind of company. I admit freely the solitude is a bit damning and there are times that not having anything to come home to apart from my drawings and my guinea pigs does affect me in a profound way and I have taken to sitting around in the bedroom with some music, a can of Relentless and a stack of intricate and very well drawn work to shade, colour, scan, print, repeat...
When I do decide enough is enough and its time to sleep, I will admit there are times I become lost in these dreams of going on dates with characters like Sephiroth, Itachi Uchiha, and respectively 23-24 year old versions of Sasuke Uchiha and Shikamaru Nara (I think the Shikamaru one was my favourite one of the adult versions!). But they always end up with me when I get home talking to Sephiroth, one of the few constants in my life really, and discussing my next steps with him. I think he plays the rational part of my mind and will give frank and honest advice. "Don't keep it all in", "TALK TO THE PEOPLE" and "come on, get out of this rut now, it's obvious even YOU are bored with it."
So just lately I've been doing just that. I've been going out. Heck I even ask my carers in the morning to help me with personal grooming, dressing and generally making me look as nice as I know I can. A dab of concealer has really worked wonders for my self confidence!
2 years ago