Well, Natt has finally taken the plunge and is now settling in his new home. I wish him so much luck, love and happiness as he is, and always has been, a very good friend who is now finding his feet. He still has a lot to move but once he's got carpet in his place, I am sure he will be happy to reunite himself with his stuff. The main part of the living room is now as empty as it used to be. I am planning to redecorate so I haven't completely moved myself back in yet, although I have been testing a few things and seeing what works for me. I have found out that I can very comfortably use my wheelchair to get around (which is something that is very much appreciated and something I am delighted with) which will help me make the most of things.
The one thing I am really trying to do as much as possible is dusting my shelves and the models that live on there. My models are a HUGE part of my room and I have spent many years collecting them. They are personal collection and a great deal of them have been customised by hand. I do the custom work as a hobby mainly but there's a great sense of achievement when something is finished. Pictured is my first EVER model, a Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Play Arts Sephiroth. He's been a part of my environment for the last 7 years and it was a pleasure to give him a little makeover. Admittedly I was working the eyes with the point of a cocktail stick and used a rather nice blue hue to make his lips seem more alien and creepy. I loved working on this, even down to dry brushing silver and white in to his hair to make it seem more realistic. The result is something I am very proud of and I can't wait until I do my next custom work. Probably looking at more of my FF7 collection, maybe the Static Arts Sephiroth statue? All I can say for now is watch this space.
Last week was also special as Jace was here. I have to admit it was the best feeling in the world to be together with him, it always is. You know, even the small intricacies of my illnesses bother me less when he's here. Its safe to say that his patient, gentle nature is one thing that is so wonderful. It gives me confidence and I feel like I am still a human being instead of a file. Under all the tubes, stuff and meds. It was wonderful, even if we didn't do anything huge, it was great because we did it together. He makes me happy and its something I know I deserve to be.
I've been spending short periods in the living room to get used to it again. I'm not afraid of it but I did get used to only being in one room so everything revolved around that. Being out of the bedroom has probably been the best for me. It wasn't that anyone was stopping me but I often would leave Natt to it so that he could have what little privacy I could offer. Close quarters is a frustrating way of life after all and I completely understand how frustrated Natt was getting because he had no place where, if he was in need of it, he could find solitude and that in itself would have driven anyone mad. Not helped when he was sharing a space with a rabbit with severe bar biting problems! Loki seems happier now though that he's in the living room and is being interacted with more.
So, what's next for me? Well, I have upcoming appointments in July and am planning to get away for a few days to Blackpool in the next couple of weeks. I'm also going to be spearheading the decorating of the living room (after 4 years, it needs a revamp) and generally making my home the best it can be as well as reassessing how I use the place to make it flow more easily because how I use the flat now is different to how I used it 4 years ago. My mobility needs have changed, a lot (started off with using a crutch to get around, now I use my electric wheelchair) and I need my home to reflect this and to be as easy to access as possible. I'm also working with my carers to make sure that I am cared for physically and emotionally.
That's the thing with carers though, people just think that all the job is about is going in and being treated as servants. There isn't always a large amount of personal care for my carers (washing, dressing, laundry and other things) but they do make sure I've eaten, drunk and am generally comfortable. But there's something else they do, something that isn't always appreciated, in fact some carers are treated awfully (but those cases aren't in the news like the minority of carers who abuse the trust of clients, they are a minority compared to the rest of them) and it is so rare for a "please" or "thank you". That thing is the general comfort and friendship that we don't always remember. My carers have always been friendly and care for me with dignity and respect. They become a part of the scenery and I appreciate them so much for it. It is because of them that I can live alone.