For life's little ups and downs.

A rather quirky, funny and sometimes daunting look in to the life of someone who has a lot of health problems but does their best to keep positive. Punctuated by guinea pigs, anime, superheroes, transforming robots and cross stitching.

I started this blog to tell my story, about who I am and what I do. On top of the health problems and raising awareness for those, I also use my blog as a way to help promote other causes, particularly ones which affect the most vulnerable. I live with a number of different and complex health problems but I refuse to let anything get me down. I know how it feels to be discriminated against or thrown aside. This is me. This is my life. I live it and do what I want with it. Nature sets the limitations. We set the boundaries.

About Me:

A blog about life. I live with Bi-Polar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Type 1 Brittle Asthma, Various Allergies, Neutropenia, Chronic IBS, Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, PCOS and Osteoporosis and Heredetary Spastic Paraplegia. I live with these conditions, but I refuse to let them keep me down and out. I still try and make the most of my days despite being so poorly and having to rely on my wheelchair, nebulisers, nearly 50 pills a day and 2l/min of oxygen.

I'll flap my broken wings and erase it all someday... You'll see.

Friday, 8 August 2014

Mixed Week

It's been a kind of mixed few days for me, most of which have been due to sounding more like Darth Vader when I try to breathe than a person. My chest seems to be really, for lack of a better word, heavy and painful and I can't work out why that is. Maybe it is just the weather or maybe its the infection causing me a bit of bother, I'm not sure though. Usually this kind of thing goes one way and I don't stay in this kind of purgatory state for too long (usually its 1-2 days and then it all progresses at once) but this one is slow and intent on taking it's time. I think I have been feeling like this for about a week and it hasn't really changed too much. Yet.

It isn't helped that right now I am struggling to get a decent amount of sleep. I go to bed and then get woken up several times in the night either for nebs, inhalers or pain meds. That in itself can leave you tired but what seems to really be getting to me is that right now there are some major contract works going on in my street. The council are replacing all the roofs in the close. That and the kids being off school and running up and down squealing like pigs doesn't help sometimes. I know kids are kids and you can't really get too angry with them, I just wish they would stop squealing because it is the kind of sound that goes through you. As for the builders, I am sure they are going to be done soon, but I really wish they wouldn't start at 7am every morning! At least they have finished the loud part on the flats over the way, the sound of shingles shattering and breaking away is not something you want to wake up to.

The girls are adapting to life as outdoor bunnies. In the winter I'll move them to the shed by the door but for now, they seem happy enough in the cage in the garden. Riza is still a grumpy old thing and doesn't really like human interaction very much. That's alright though, her daughters are the company she likes best it seems. Of course when people come and go, they do come over and say hello and lick fingers through the bars. However, I have agreed to adopt a young male guinea pig who is in desperate need of a "forever home". Something I am more than happy to provide to any animal, I can't turn away a pig who needs to be loved and looked after, never have been able to. I fall for their charms I think.  I love their little personalities and characters and I have never met any two who were alike. They all have their charms and I think they're the kind of pet I can keep and not have to worry about. All they ask is food, love and company. I do talk to my pets and sometimes I treat them like children, in some ways, they are like my children. The first guinea pig I had as an adult, Patch, left his pawprints on me and well he reminded me just how great these little animals are.

That little creature gave me such friendship and comfort during some of the rough parts of my life. He used to make me feel loved even when I was struggling to even like myself. I see that picture of us together, one of my favourite pictures actually. He would be waiting for me when I got back from college (when I was at room 7, I used to come in the front door and by the time I got up the second lot of stairs he was wheeking madly!). He would be excited to see me when I had been in hospital and would greet me with a happy squeak until he was allowed to cuddle with me. I even had him trained to squeak when I needed my inhaler/nebs and he even learned to bring them to me. When I was sad, he was there with a paw to hold and comfort me with, when I was scared I could talk to him. When things were hard, he was my friend, not just a subservient pet, but a real life companion. When his cagemate, Alphonse got ill and sadly passed, he did everything he could to make me smile when I was crying and then when the new pigs came, he accepted and loved them so that they could settle in well. I cried for nearly a week when Patch died, my old gentle giant but hes never been forgotten. From his fuzzy nose to his soft fluffy bottom, I will cherish the time we had together.

There are many things I really like about guinea pigs. They're such affectionate little things and they never seem to mind being cuddled and loved. Actually, they tend to love you back! My pets are well cared for and loved and it's something unconditional on both sides. Tenzou is getting old now but hes got more friendly as time goes on. He just doesn't seem too happy with having Bumble and Tigger following him and giving a rather quick rumble his way. When they rumble it is quite funny to watch because of the way they do it. There hasn't been any scrapping luckily but there is often a bit of a rumble before they settle down in a heap together. Bumble is yet to learn that he isn't the "alpha" of the pack and I think he has the same problem that all small things get, that kind of "Small in size, huge in attitude" thing. We think Tigger is the brains of the outfit, or at least we think he is. He often tries his hardest to escape from the cage when hes out in the garden to go and have a nibble in the long grass. They are funny to keep, especially when they're running around and popcorning. Unless you have watched guinea pigs popcorning, it is hard to explain how this sudden spurt of happiness looks. It's kind of like all their limbs jump out in different directions and they jump right up in the air. It is a sign of almost uncontainable happiness. Little Chucky is a little sweetheart really, hes very well socialised with humans and although he had a squee at me to start with, he soon settled down and nuzzled up to me, falling asleep in my lap eventually. He's already made friends with the other pigs and has been caged with Tenzou. He is a handsome little chappy and seems very happy to settle down with people for cuddles and to have a chatter. I make no bones about it. I am a crazy guinea pig lady. It's kind of like a crazy cat lady but with guinea pigs. But honestly, who can blame me, they're lovely little creatures and my pets really help me when I feel flat and tired.
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I am hoping that soon my body will settle in to some kind of baseline. It has been really up and down and well I find the whole thing a bit frustrating at the best of times. Then again, I would be hard pressed to find anyone who would enjoy this. And if I found someone like that, then chances are, I would probably find them rather pathetic frankly. I have come across some people with what I call "Treatment Envy", they see what treatment I have and decided that not only do I not need it as much as they do, but they actually WANT to be in my state and actively go out to make themselves seem like they're worse off, or people who are jealous of someone who has a condition and wants to play the "I'm more ill than you..." game. Seriously, it isn't a contest to see who has more illnesses than who and who is more ill and these people really ought to grow up. I never asked for what I have. I never wanted to or aimed to become like this and I am doing my utmost to try and get better. Even if that means having to do some hard work like walking around the house when I feel less than up to it or doing countless treatments and therapies to get the best out of life. No effort, no improvement and then what do we have left? Nothing.

On the other side of it though are people who are ignorant, although it doesn't happen as much to me as it used to, especially when it comes to people like my friend Natt whose handicaps are invisible. When he isn't using his stick, you would never know he had the conditions he has, I won't talk about them here openly as it isn't my place and I actually respect other people's right to privacy. I find how my friend takes it all in his stride pretty amazing though because he doesn't seem to let things stop him and that in itself is an admirable quality in a person. The determination and conviction to do what ever it takes to do what ever he wants.  People can be quite unfair when they try and square up to us and make us feel intimidated because we're "too young" to have problems. I can tell you here and now that there really is no such thing as too young when it comes to sickness. And just because you can't see it, doesn't make it not there.

I am trying to learn from that example because frankly, I could sit around all day feeling sorry for myself and it really wouldn't change anything. I would still be the way I am and I would still have to deal with things. Instead, I choose to just get on and do what ever I feel I want to do at the time. Whether it's hanging out with my friends, playing cards at the club or just chilling out in my room, I make sure I am having fun at least because knowing that you could be on limit means that you really do want to make the most of life and you do want to make every day count, even if you probably should stay inside and rest!

Enjoy life. Make it in to something (and yourself, someone) worth remembering.

Loves
Wendy xx


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