Urge To Faceplant Desk...

I know that by nature I am a computer hacker or some kind of whiz with them, but when networking a 3rd computer AND trying to keep access to the other 2 computers and the X-box, I think if it had have gone smoothly enough so I wasn't ranting or trying to chew my way through the desk then it would have been WAY too easy. All I wanted to do was set up Tom's desktop PC at mine as it would get more use here. Sounds simple enough... Yeah... OK...

First we had to trawl through the thing and sort out all the software and other issues we had here and believe me, even my ex boyfriend didn't have this many problems! But now, my life doesn't revolve around that minefield so I can be happy in knowing that I have finally managed to move on, but I digress, we managed to uninstall about 8 pieces of software that seemed to conflict one another which would have confused the machine. It was pretty funny, before I got my hands on it, it was slow, clunky and took about an hour to work out what it wanted to do. Now its running faster and a lot happier. I seem to have that effect on things just lately and my energy has been really, well UP rather than skirting the floor somewhere.

The main concentration of mine has been re-evaluating my life and the situations that I was in. Its funny when you are unhappy in one aspect of life, you can't settle in any others. I have my bills and other things going back on track and have gone back to using internet banking, such a useful tool, to monitor cashflow and work out what is going where, finding out I was better off than I thought I was and making ends meet here isn't a problem at all.

My housing benefit was sorted this week, as well as my council tax. I have sorted out the cable and water rates, as well as the TV licence. Heartlands were informed of my new address and I got my appointment letter this morning, as well as yesterday getting my letter from the Back Pain Clinic and both my Psychiatrist and Psychologist. So I am really concentrating on improving my overall wellness. If my health improves, then maybe the chances of my returning to work will improve. It has to be said, since the break up, my health has improved and I have been able to rest up from the hairy moments a lot better. Funny, since removing the stress from my life, things start getting better.

A lot of my health problems (particularly my asthma and my mental health) can be triggered or made worse when I get stressed out. Over the last 2 years, I was in a cycle of stress, being someone's carer and not being allowed any space to heal or recover without being made to feel bad about it afterwards. It is no wonder that I went from infection to attack to infection constantly and never had times when I was well in between. Sadly this has left me with permanent scarring in my airways and parts of my lungs will not open up anymore as they have been scarred shut. This is something that won't get better and there is no way of reversing the damage as it is too far gone. But I can live with that. I just hope that this winter I don't suffer as badly as I have done in past years.

Loves
Wendy xx