A Month Later...

Its been a month now since our beautiful Alphonse passed away so suddenly. He really was such a sweet little creature and we do miss him, horribly. I think it was so sudden that we lost him and the fact he was little more than the guinea pig equivalent of a teenager just made the whole thing seem just that little bit sadder. I still sometimes look over at the cage and expect to have this black and white face looking back at me, then start wheeking happily for more food. Unfortunately we don't see him, but we do see our precious pups.

So I guess on the other side of it, it has been a month since we got Hope and Gizmo. Hope is about 7 weeks old now and is as boisterous as ever. He sat with me the other day and just cuddled up, then started making these sweet high pitched noises as he ran over and just sat on me. Everytime I move, he follows me like a lost puppy. It is safe to say, I have been adopted by this little one as Mum. I don't mind as he is such a little tinker! He keeps me on my toes.

Gizmo, who is 10 weeks old, is settling down a lot better now as well. When we first got them both, Gizmo was very skittish and would kick and squeal if you went to pick him up. Steve has done a great job with him and has trained him to be more social, I think they are very taken to each other and obviously, Gizmo is getting more used to me as well which obviously is a good thing.

As for me, well I am starting to settle down in myself a bit now. Admittedly, my chest has had other ideas and I spent last night in the hospital which wasn't fun, but at least I am now on something to try and clear my chest a bit. If this doesn't work then I will go back to Dr Pike and see what he says. What really took my doctor by surprise (the very lovely Flight Lieutenant, an RAF doctor, VERY yummy!!) was the fact that I was left to become clinically exhausted all because I had 2 of the most incompetent paramedics, who are probably good with the more obvious, but a silent chested asthmatic wasn't one of those things they knew. Luckily this seems to be a dying breed in paramedics, but you do admittedly get the odd one or 2 who are frankly clueless.

I was given more nebs, steroids, painkillers and antibiotics and, funnily enough, I began to make a recovery quick enough to be allowed home, some 4 hours later.

Loves
Wendy xx

Hanging on Again...

I woke up this morning feeling a bit lethargic and generally off colour. I guess I knew this was coming and I shouldn't have felt anything other than expectant. I mean for me it isn't usually a case of IF things plan to go off, more like WHEN. I woke up at about 10 when my alarm went off. Checking my Peak Flow, it was below the dreaded 200 l/min mark. It was 190 l/min, I was breathless and I didn't understand why I was struggling again. Instead of dwelling on that, I decided that the first thing to do would be a Salbutamol 5mg and Ipratropium 500mcg nebuliser.

My protocol states that if my starting Peak Flow is rubbish and I feel rubbish then I would up my steroids and neb every 4 hours. I added in inbetween doses of 2.5mg Salbutamol and extra Symbicort, just to keep things on an even keel. This can help keep me out of hospital, BUT sometimes, it is just stalling the inevitable. I need to take this careful or I could just end up in the thick of something interesting.

To keep my mind off things, I took on the housework, bleaching the kitchen down, vacuuming the carpets and wiping down the floors. As hard as that can be on my body, it needed to be done, and I needed to keep my mind off worrying about the fact I am very breathless and my chest feels like I am being beaten around with a sledgehammer. It's not the most comfortable of things and I am trying to keep on top of things rather than avoid them. Face the problems head on, then let things progress and go one way or the other on their own. If you wait for the reaper, you forget to live. That was one thing I never ever wanted to be or ever do. It's better to just live and do what I have to inbetween, that or sink in to self pity, another thing that really REALLY gets my back up.

But I think one thing I may do is keep a record of what I have been taking, when and why, so that when the time comes, we know exactly what the score is, which could save valuable minutes when it comes to it. Call me overly officious but I think if I can help myself in anyway, I will. No matter what it takes or what the price of it is. It is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way.

Loves
Wendy xx

The wonders of Tramadol...

Last night was a bit of a rough night, my chest was agony (I mean really sore and I couldn't take a deep breath as it felt like someone had whacked me through a cheese grater), my temp was really high (38.7) and I was struggling again. Not good. So after about half an hour after we'd gone to sleep, Steve woke me up and got me on a neb, made me a hot chocolate and gave me a Covonia shot to help me bring up the gunk that has gathered in my lungs.

Then we went about settling the pain I was in, I had already had my Co - Codamol, so more Paracetamol or Codeine were out of the question, so we moved up to another 50mg of Tramadol. That did the trick and soon after I curled up and went to sleep quite contentedly and stayed there. Until my alarm at 10 went off to get me to take my morning round of pills, nebs and the rest of it.

I do feel a bit better after a nice long sleep and it was just what the doctor ordered really. So my mood is a little more elevated today as well which is a positive, for me at least. I want to set about doing some more missions on FF XIII, as yesterday I read in my shiny new book that if you use certain catalysts on weapons, you can get the ultimate weapons for your characters so that is what I aim to do today. Get the catalysts and make some really impressive weapons for Lightning and co. As well as give my dear friend Ant some presents that I have made for him. More on that later as they are surprises for him.

Also, I managed to fix my old 4GB MP3 player, it wasn't turning on as there was a file that was stopping it, I reset the device and formatted it and now it works happily again which is good because I used to have it in bed with me sometimes when I have trouble sleeping. That and if my lungs play up, I can take it with me to hospital and listen to music if I can't sleep. I usually take my laptop with me as well so I can watch films, chat on MSN (3 pay dongles are lifesavers) and generally pass the time while laying in bed and getting plenty of rest.

I do regret that I am falling asleep at the helm again, Tramadol makes me sleepy which right now is probably a good thing as I am not rushing around trying to look after everyone else.

Loves
Wendy xx

Things bugging me...

Ever have one of those days where there is just so many things bugging you that you can't seem to just have quiet serenity? I think today is one of those days. I spend so much time taking the step back from my problems and looking at them from another perspective that I forget to take the step forward. As a result, I forget that the thing I was looking at was actually the reality of my own life, and its like a bubble bursts and all I can see is the cold reality of what my life is and that leaves me feeling blue and longing for my old life.

My old life was a lot more positive and comfortable and my body wasn't slowly falling apart from under me. I used to be able to walk for miles and not have to think about inhalers, nebulisers or a cocktail of pills that keep me going. I guess thats why I started getting annoyed with Steve telling everyone and anyone about his 50mg of Sertraline and shouting about it in public. These things aren't a novelty, they are real things and they have real effects on you. I take the same drug, and I have 3 times that and I don't complain about it or boast as NO ONE CARES. Maybe what rattled my cage is the fact he was on about having 1 pill a day, when I have a whole mess of pills and other things, call me silly, but I thought that was a little insensitive and tactless, but that could be just me.

I guess I never wanted to see what was happening to me as its not pretty nor is it fun. It makes me wonder why someone would want to be exactly in my shoes?

Loves
Wendy x

Interview with an asthmatic...

In living with Asthma to the extent that I do, I often get asked many questions. Even though I have already posted today, I just fancied answering some of those questions that people ask me:

1. What is the difference between an asthma attack and a panic attack?

This is a common question. During an asthma attack the person who is going through it will be experiencing any combination of the following symptoms: tightness in the chest, wheezy breathing (usually it feels harder to get air out of your lungs, but this does vary), cough. Although not all these symptoms have to be present for an asthma attack. This is all caused by the airways going in to spasm and closing up.

Outwardly, a panic attack can look very similar. The person who is suffering will be hyperventilating (breathing very fast and shallow) and usually calms down on their own. The best you can do with a panic attack is to calm the person down and remove them from the subject of distress.


2. What does an asthma attack feel like?

Each asthmatic feels an attack differently so it is impossible to define it in a way that relates to everyone. For me, it starts with generally feeling tired and run down, I won't be interested in very much at all or all I will want to do is sleep, although I find it hard to get to sleep. I won't eat very much nor will I really get up and move around much. It feels like someone who is sitting on me and I won't be myself at all. After this, I develop a chesty, rattling cough and become wheezy. It is here that I start treating my attack and hope for the best. This can and often does progress and deteriorate very quickly.

3. How do you know when to use your medication or call for an ambulance?

I have been told many times by my doctors to go by my instincts and let my symptoms be my guide. I know to reach for the inhaler when my symptoms start, and I will use up to 10 puffs of that if needed to calm things down. If that doesn't help, then I move to my nebulisers. I will have 1 of each nebule to begin with and another of salbutamol (Ventolin) on it's own afterward if the first didn't do the trick. If this hasn't worked as it should have, this doesn't happen often now but it used to be a regular thing, then Steve or whoever is with me will dial 999 and get an ambulance to me. This will usually result in either time on wards or the A & E department where I will be given nebulisers, steroids (either pills or IV) and oxygen to stablise my breathing and get me back to normal. Once I have been discharged, I will usually have extra steroids for a week and antibiotics because I usually have an infection.

4. How do you feel after an asthma attack?

In short, exhausted, sore and I will just curl up and go to sleep. It can take up to a week for me to recover, even longer if that recovery time has been interrupted by further asthma attacks. An asthma attack is a very tiring thing.

5. What do I do if I suspect someone is suffering from an asthma attack?

My first advice would be DO NOT PANIC. If they can speak ask them if they have their medication and help them take it as instructed or by the Asthma UK Guidelines. Click here to find these. If the inhalers don't help or YOU ARE IN DOUBT, call for help STRAIGHT AWAY. Remember asthma attacks can be fatal, so PLEASE be sensible about it and take it seriously.

That's it for the questions, but if you do have more don't be afraid to email them to me at w_bostock@hotmail.co.uk, I may not be able to answer them all, but I promise to do my best to answer as many as I can, also I really would recommend a look through the Asthma UK website and find out as much information as you can.

Much Love

Wendy x

Review with Dr Pike...

This morning was my review with Dr Pike after the last couple of turbulent weeks. I like Dr Pike, he is a good doctor and he treats me almost like a friend, instead of a ball of neuroses, but this appointment went a lot better than I expected really. After a chat, a peak-flow and a good listen in to my lungs, he said that yep, the infection was still there. Which would explain the fact I was shivering, sweating and had a temperature which one minute was really low (34.4) and then high (38.9) the next. I was in a right tizzy. Also was told to use my neb as much as I needed to, refills on my prescription are always on the cards. That was reassuring. The same with my Prednisolone, let my peak flow and general feeling be my guide.

Basically I'm being told by everyone to trust my instincts, because they're usually right. He also put my painkillers which were usually acute to a repeat prescription as he said that after 2 weeks of me using them and having them available, I looked better for a few nights better sleep and without that look of pain that usually makes me look all the more haggard at times.

So the glass is definitely more full these days and I feel a lot better in myself, spending hours with a sketch book, or just curled up with a good book, now I'm on incapacity indefinitely I guess it means I have WAY more time on my hands to do what ever it is I do these days. Usually it involves drawing, sleeping, sewing and card making.

Any ideas?

Love Ya
Wendy x

Hanging on by a thread.

Today, my asthma just isn't going to play ball today. At all and whatsoever. Which leads me to think that another admission could well be on the cards, not a positive thought, but at least it's realistic. I don't mind being in hospital when I need to be, I mean you meet some interesting new people and at least I'll be given something to make me feel better. And at the moment, ANYTHING is better than this.

 It started with my usual barking cough, then on Friday, it started developing a little bit of a rattle, and I was getting tired more easily than usual. I was also getting this sort of ripping pain whenever I took the smallest breath in. So me being me, I took some painkillers rested and hoped that that would be the worst of it, go to sleep and wake up feeling better. I was wrong, yesterday, it was worse, I was wheezy, nebbing every 4 hours and generally feeling terrible so I upped my pred to 20mg. That did help, but today, I just don't seem to be able to get hold of it. So my plan is, keep going as is, and if it gets worse, which for some reason I can see happening all too well, do the 9's and get abducted by the wonderful people of the West Midlands Ambulance Service.

I have a lot of respect for the people who work tirelessly for all the Ambulance Services across the UK. They really do work long hours saving the lives of people who need them, and it makes me angry when you hear about hoax calls or people calling them just because they're the easiest medical service to access. I wonder if they understand that the ambulance that could attend them could be attending a scene in which someone's life could really be in danger.

That's my rant over for now at least. Hopefully after this Ventolin/Atrovent- Ventolin only session, I'll feel better, if not then I will keep you all posted.

Look after yourselves this Halloween!

Love ya muchly

Wendy x