Dentist...

Ever since I was younger, I have never been a big fan of the dentist. Maybe it's because my brother used to like playing "Dentist" when I had my baby teeth coming out, this was often painful and unpleasant and as a result I really don't like people putting fingers in my mouth. Actually, on some occasions it has led me to actually bite the dentist, not for any other reason than my anxiety getting the better of me, lucky for me, they understood why it happened.

I went yesterday to the surgery purely expecting a couple of fillings on my lower pre-molars (5th teeth on each side had developed holes due to crowding and me not being able to clean them properly), I thought it would be straight forward and over with before I knew (although I took some medication to make me a little more docile than usual so that I would be calm and relaxed throughout) and I readied myself with my favourite soft pillow and iPod. Once it was numbed, the dentist set to work on drilling the right sided tooth, after a few minutes and the sort of sound you get with broken pottery, the tooth shattered completely. It was decided that after taking quick X-rays and assessing the position of the teeth, (as they had been pushed quite far back) that getting them out now was the best way forward. Since I was already in the chair and would only need a little more numbing, I agreed to go ahead with it.

The left side, which was actually in worse shape, was pulled quickly, painlessly and without any kind of bother at all. It was almost like that one tooth actually wanted to leave my mouth. The other however was a lot more tricky. Because of how the top of it had essentially exploded, there was little to grab and it took a long while, and a lot of pulling, cutting in to the gum and teasing to get it to come out. As a result there was a lot of blood and its only just stopped bleeding 24 hours after the procedure. To be honest, there has already been an improvement in my jawline (its not awkward anymore) and I think that we may have managed to avoid a more complex operation to get rid of my wisdom teeth as there is room for them now. I'm just taking precautions for the next few days and hopefully the swelling around my face (which last night looked like I'd gained 3 stone) will subside soon. I think there is an important lesson to be learned here about not waiting until things are a problem before seeing a dentist.

As for everything else on "Planet Wendy", its all as good as it normally is. I have been trying some new holistic methods of pain relief particularly for my back. My backs been a problem for years and its only gotten worse as I have gotten older. Instead of taking pills upon pills for it, I decided to try a TENS machine. A strange little device, but it sends the electric stimulation to the site of the pain making the nerves less sensitive and the spasms not as severe. I'm happy with how it has worked so far and have been doing regular sessions with it and because of the release of endorphins (the body's natural pain killers and the "happy hormone") I have had a really upbeat attitude towards things.

I think that right now, I am getting through everything as best as I can and I no longer feel ashamed of my disability. Yes, I have a lot of medical problems. Yes it can be hard, but I am still managing to keep a smile on my face and look at the bright side of it all. This does kind of show that the attitude you have towards life can actually be the thing that makes the difference. Even if it does seem like a hard thing to keep on with, I actually managed to keep a smile though pain, frustration or even those moments where that part of me actually wished for an end to come and then it would be all over. I think those thoughts are cowardly and I think that had I allowed myself to just throw in the towel because I couldn't cope, then that would have been an insult to anyone out there with a disability and would have meant that the people who want to put me down would have won. Instead, I look at those people with contempt and know that I am winning here and I will never lay down and die for anyone.

Well, I think I am set for the weekend, going to allow myself to recover from minor dental surgery and this 'flu bug that is still tearing through my body and making me feel a bit like someone has been jumping on me while I sleep. I'm sure that with plenty to watch on Netflix, my iPod and other things to keep me amused, plus the love of 5 guinea pigs (right now, Edward has discovered that he likes his rattle toy and has been throwing it at poor old Kadaj) and people who make me feel every bit of special to them as they are to me, I will be soon on the mend again and ready for the next task.

Loves
Wendy xx