Drained, But Happy...

It has been a rather fun weekend, but I will admit it has been physically exhausting and somewhat emotionally demanding. At the age of 23, I have never had a child, nor have I had to deal with the confines of physical illness in a way that I had never even thought of. On top of that, having to deal with 2 of my older, lesser really known problems rearing their heads recently hadn't helped me, but I managed, as I always do, to use this to my advantage, growing, adapting and continuing to move forward and not let anything get to me.

The worst of this has been something I have had since I was 16 or 17. I had been really ill for a few weeks and we didn't know what it was. I wasn't keeping food down and I was in constant pain. I was fevered and shivering, even in the middle of that summer. I had just moved out of my mothers home and in to that of my first boyfriend. I remember one morning, I was asleep and suddenly I had felt this sharp, ripping pain in the left side of my hip. I had whimpered and grabbed hold of the poor lad and the next day was taken to hospital. 3 days later and a continuous saline drip and it was found that the cause of my problems had been a ruptured ovarian cyst, but there had been some smaller and less twitchy ones left. I was told by the gynecologist that I had PCOS. To the layman, this means that I have benign cysts that grow quite randomly on my ovaries.

Recently my hormones went again haywire and I was going loopy. I had more pain again, this time in the right hand side of my pelvis (Appendicitis can officially be ruled out as the second "Cyst" that I had wasn't found to be the complete cause of my problems that winter, but my appendix had been the main culprit) and again I feel full after barely touching a meal. This will probably resolve itself, but as soon as I see a gynecologist the better I think, although we have been down this route a few times and we always decided to watch and wait, but this would be the 3rd one in a year now so maybe its time that I said goodbye to that ovary. But I really don't know if I am ready for that kind of thing yet.

Another of my problems that has started to rear its head is the OCD. I hate my OCD at the best of times, but I rarely ever talk about how it has affected me over the last year or so. I think its because of everything else pushing it back, such as the numbness of my legs from my damaged spine, the problems with breathing and the fact that anything with lactose in there is a sure fire way of making me go to the loo so often that I feel drained and exhausted and falling off a toilet in town is really not an avenue I wish to go down again.

I think theres definitely something bothering my body at the moment. I seem to cough for hours and bring up a pea sized amount of junk. Nebs help, but not for long at times so I have a really sneaking suspicion that soon a kidnapping may end up in the offing, although I am hoping beyond hope it never happens. Besides I have a keychain I want to make!!

Loves
Wendy xx