Introspection

Its been nearly a month since I was given the letter saying that I was to be shielded as I was on the "Extremely Clinically Vulnerable" list. It's not been easy as I have always liked having the liberty to come and go as I please. That being said, I would definitely prefer to be safe and avoid Covid19, which for me would be an almost definite death sentence, than go out to the shops or something so I am complying with it. 

All this free time has been giving me ample time to think. When I started this journey, nearly 10 years ago if you can believe that, I was in a very different place physically and mentally. I was feeling alone and wanted so much to be able to change that. I hated how poorly brittle asthma was understood and I wanted to show the world the reality of what I was going through and why I was finding it difficult to do what I needed to. A lot of people didn't want to believe what I was saying and didn't understand why what they perceived as "just asthma" was making things so difficult. 

The thing is, this whole thing has been a process. It has been full of change and personal growth as well as a few moments where things were really bad, I'll spare you the nitty gritty details. There's been battles that I've fought, won and rehashed to fight again. People have come and gone and I've moved on to a better and brighter home. My journey isn't completed though. My story isn't over and there are many things still to said, done and conquer. I'm tired but the only thing I can keep doing is move forward and that's what I'll do.

I know I don't post as often as I used to, probably because I sometimes find it hard to write about day after day. I mean, you don't want to read a daily slew of "I woke up, did meds and went back to sleep. Watched (insert title here) in bed. Got up and had a poop.." and so on. It's grating to see that kind of thing on Facebook, imagine if my whole blog was just that! I take my time over my posts and try and keep it interesting and meaningful. Even if I start a blog on Monday and then come back to it until it's ready on Friday. I also try and find positives to blog about because I don't like to complain all the time, which could so easily become part of these kinds of blogs, because I am actually a relatively upbeat kind of person. 

I've had people leave me mean comments but I've learned to be a bit more resilient and less sensitive. Heck I don't even reply to the nasty messages or comments as they're not worth it. They're usually just trying to get a response from me and I won't rise to it. I'll rise above it instead! 

Til all are one

Wendy xx