Death.

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere just yet. This is just a post about my thoughts and feelings on then subject. After all, we are all going to have to face it sooner or (hopefully) later, it's a certainty of life. Obviously if you have any thoughts of suicide or anything like that, please reach out to someone, we are all loved and have people out there who will support us!

Right now that's out of the way, let's get in to this. 

Death.

At the end of the day, the sun sets and we rest in the knowing that we've lived another day, yet we know that tomorrow will bring us another day, as it always does. But like the certainty of the sun setting, we also know that somewhere, someone has taken their final breaths and left this world. It's a subject that is sobering and yet incomprehensible. We know it's going to happen to everyone eventually but it's human nature to kind of push it away, bury our heads and pretend it won't happen. We fear it. But we don't understand it.

I've been watching a channel on YouTube called Ask a Mortician. In her videos the delightful Caitlin Dougherty tells us about everything from what happens to our bodies biologically to how the corpse is laid to rest and options for our own bodies after we die. It encourages people to open up about any fears they may have as well as the concept of "The good death". The latter is the most important thing to a lot of people because it's what everyone should want. After living your best life, who wouldn't want to go out in a way that they felt best with? 

But the question is, what is a "good death"? During my recent time in hospital, I was browsing the net and came across a moving story. A man and his wife who had served together in WW2, were married for 70 years (I always find marriages that last that long, you can imagine the things they faced and came through together) and passed away on the same day after spending a day just lying together in their nursing home (the were in separate rooms for a while due to failing health). 

https://iheartintelligence.com/couple-served-wwii-pass-away-on-same-day/?fb=777&fbclid=IwAR0_uTxMS2c8LdmWIgfA6bODvg6Y-DtIEHTHPsJqxH8O1uSIePplOjKtVVc

The full article is here, but I suggest you get the tissues ready. It was a beautiful story. And it made me think, that lady and gentleman literally followed eachother to the end, it was the one thing that they both would have wanted and they got to be together again. I'm not sure what's out there after we die or where we go but I'd like to think that somewhere we go back to who we loved most and from there I'm not sure. 

What I am sure about though is what a good death means to me. Having spent a good amount of my adulthood in hospital, I've seen my fair share of older people dying. One that I remember most was on Ward 5, a lady asked her family if she could be taken to have one more cigarette, her daughter took her in her wheelchair, brought her back and got her comfortable in bed again. They embraced and she left. After she left the lady just closed her eyes and that was that. She died with a smile on her face, no one was jumping on her chest to get her back and running around. It was peaceful. It was calm. It was dignified. On the other side, I've seen families crying and screaming at nurses to resuscitate a dying loved one despite them saying that it was futile, seeing the person connected to everything and unable to even breathe by themselves, heart failing and quite probably a lot of pain. I know myself which I'd prefer.

Again, I'm not going anywhere yet so don't worry. I have thought about what I want for my own death. One of the main things I have always said was if there was a chance that I'd be reliant on machines and unable to do anything for myself at all, it'd be my wish that my family let me go. As hard as that may be for anyone, sometimes it's the kinder solution and I wouldn't want to be in a vegetative state like that. I'd want my final hours to be with friends, family and with Jace and our piggies by us. I wouldn't want to die in a hospital ward with people milling about and who knows what connected to me. I'd want to pass peacefully and with a smile on my face. I wouldn't want to be embalmed as it damages the environment and the people who do the procedure. Instead, I'd want to be cremated and my ashes scattered in my favourite places, including the Arrow Valley Lake. I would also have letters to everyone I cared about saying that no matter what happens I loved them and thanking them for loving me. Instead of a traditional service it would be my request to have something simple, maybe with people sharing a cup of tea and goofy stories, oh and wearing something purple. Happy times spent with them and good memories. 

I guess that's the most I've thought of when it comes to my own death. Has anyone who reads thought about their deaths or planned their funeral? I'd love to hear from you.

Til all are one!

Wendy xx