Keep Going.

I guess that things are going as they normally do. I've been having the usual issues with my asthma, my other conditions kicking me about and generally feeling quite drained and tired. This isn't really too unexpected, especially given how things are at times. I think that by laying low and just getting through the day by taking things easier has been the key. I hate being inactive though. I'm really not the kind of girl who loves to lie around and never move or do anything. Getting me to slow down is often a challenge. It drives me nuts because I feel like I should be doing something more constructive than what I do do some days. It's not because I don't want to, its just that my body doesn't feel like it, simply put. I do try though, even if it is something small like getting up and making myself food or drinks.

In fact, my biggest thing is trying to do too much at times. Whether that's from a natural drive to keep doing stuff or something else, I just can't really stop for long and find it frustrating when I have to take things slower or not do so much. I hate it when people assume that because I can't work or do much physically that I don't want to. There is a difference between can't and won't. "Can't" is not being able to do something because of it causing physical pain or illness. "Can't" is when you look at what you want to do but no matter how hard you try, it just isn't really attainable, but you still try. "Won't" is a choice. "Won't" is a bad attitude to have in life because its a prelude to laziness. There's a level of childishness to "Won't" as well, like a kid saying "Well I don't -want- to do something so I won't, so there!" and too many people have taken that tack and gone with it. The fact is, often people don't reach their potential because it's easier to just sit around and let technology or others do it for them.

I think that maybe if people looked closer at the situation they were in, they could find a way around things. There's too many people out there who are really wasting their natural gifts because they can't be bothered to try. Personally, I like to look around and find things to do. Maybe its a strange habit of mine to keep busy. I enjoy doing simple things, sewing, drawing and writing as well as gaming. I recently started working on MMD, an animation software that is free and fun to use, albeit, it isn't the easiest thing out there but with some work and tweaks you can figure something out. I have the time to do these things so why not put it to use and get creative at the same time. I've also reached out and made a new pen-pal in the USA who is also in to card games and we have even traded cards with each other (because personally I think that is a big part of making TCG decks and cards that have been given to you by friends are more lucky). 

I'm also making headway with my Sleep Apnea. Last year, I had my sleep study and found out about OSA and we found out that although I have moderate OSA, my lungs were just not happy and my oxygen levels were reflecting that. My pressure has been altered a lot, more recently it was reduced as the thing was just being painful and not really helping me, not to mention the fact that I was getting more air in my tummy than anywhere else (trapped wind... ouch!), which was embarrassing at times (what goes in will inevitably come out, I'm naturally quite... gaseous anyway so you can only imagine what poor Jace has had to endure!) as well as very uncomfortable. So, Thursday was the first night on the lower pressure and it was actually much better (and I managed to keep it on my face so that's a plus too). I am hoping that by removing the polyps in my nose and closing my perforated septum will actually go some way to making it so that I may be able to get off CPAP but I am being realistic about that too, it could be that like my oxygen, this is a permanent thing.  

I guess its a case of just keeping on with things, not giving up (even on the days where it would be oh so tempting) and keeping a clear and focused mind on what you want to achieve. 

Loves

Wendy xx