Spring? Hope.

Looks like spring has sprung and the weather here is sunny and bright. I'm so glad that last month's PIP was used to get a new tower fan as my old one from the flat gave up the ghost but it's not surprising as most stuff there was afflicted by the dampness that lingered in the air. Probably due to the retrofitted back door and the damp course removed. Also buying a dehumidifier device has helped us as well. It's funny, when it was delivered, I looked at the small machine and thought "this is probably too small to do much." but I stand corrected. It's only a little device but the effect has been extraordinary!  The next month will be about other smaller improvements. There's a few maintenance issues that need sorting out but that's all in hand and being sorted out. That's the best way around things is to nip them in the bud before they become huge issues.

This is just one of the few things I'm trying to change about my environment to help make it so that my home is a haven from the world outside and that the summer won't be so grueling on either of us really. I have never been able to cope with heat. Even before my asthma became such a major impact on my day to day life but the trick is to find a better way around it rather than complaining and eventually just annoying everyone. Maybe it's just part of my nature to change things if they aren't what I personally want rather than wallow in the less than nice parts. After all, who wants to read a blog that is nonstop moaning and griping? Make the best of it, of you do that like something, change it. Live the life you want to live, it's not about money​ or things, it's about good times. The best days are the days spent just being happy and enjoying being around the people I love. I long since for out of the habit of letting people demand what I do or making me feel inferior for whatever​ reasons.

I've been occupying myself with a lot of sewing recently. I find it really relaxes me and helps me to just chill. That and watching TV shows on YouTube. One show I miss was "How Clean is Your House?" as it was full of great little snippits of advice and tips that I actually use, like using water and lemon juice to steam clean a microwave, or making an air freshener with bicarb and lavender oil. I do prefer natural things over strong chemical cleaners as the natural is less likely to do my lungs in. Plus it's better for the animals as well. Having animals has been a rewarding thing and it is something that I will always continue to enjoy, although I can't have a dog which would have been a dream for me as my asthma wouldn't take it.

The animals are loving things here and it's nice to see when Yugi decides to pop all over the cage in that cute way they do. Watching Red nestle in his hay, he's really settled himself in. He's still skittish but I think he always will be, maybe in time, Yugi will teach him to trust humans better. Yugi used to be the skittish one but now he's the first to come and say hello. He's even friendlier when you bring him something to eat, whenever he gets given something he takes it with an appreciative purr. He's a well mannered guinea pig. Red is learning slowly but needs me to be patient and loving. Not unlike Kadaj, my first ever rescue pig who was subjected to evil people trying to feed him to a snake, after a year or so, he became as tame as a lamb and loved being cuddled. He recovered from his trauma and lived a life full of love and lots of food!

I think that having pets has been more helpful to me than anything. It helps a great deal knowing that no matter how badly I think I have messed up, Jace, my family and my animals will always be there to help and support me when I feel at my worst. And I know that I am lucky for that. Very lucky, because there's a lot of people who don't have that kind of support network despite going through their own hell. Some people would look at it and think about how hard their lives are but me, I like to look on the bright side and think that although things are rough sometimes (and trust me, these last few days have been a test of just how much my lungs can push) I have been through it. I will go through it again and I will survive and keep on fighting. I want to keep going. I want to hold on to hope that one day they may find a way of fixing this for me because without hope, what is there? 

I have it tattooed on my ankle too, a reminder that hope is there, no matter how you look at it. That tattoo is one of the ones that I feel is important to me, along with my Final Fantasy work (which I am planning to get sorted out) and other tattoos. They do each mean something different and each have an element of my own design in there too. My upper arm tribal was my first (10 years ago, it was re-done kindly by my tattooist) and is probably the one that people ask me about. I designed it during my AS Art modules and it signified my own coming of age. I had it originally done for my 18th birthday. I guess I find comfort in knowing that they are there and they remind me that I have overcome things in the past and will continue to do so. 

Loves

Wendy xx