Although my asthma usually spends most of the time in the limelight
(as it is my most dominant and severe condition), there are times when
other conditions I suffer with can show me how much of a pain they can
be. My health isn't a simple case of "take this pill and get better" and
I know this. In fact, there aren't any "easy" answers to all of this
and this is something I have had to learn to live with. Even if it seems
harsh and unfair. The worst thing about a lot of conditions I have is
that there aren't any magic cures to make it better and often it comes
down to just managing it and firefighting the symptoms as they occur.
Right
now, it is one of my lesser conditions that is causing me a bit of
grief. Since I was 17, I have had a condition that a lot of women have
called "PCOS" or Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. Basically it means that my
ovaries become covered in cysts. Some of these are harmless and go away
but lately, I have had a particularly bad one on my right ovary. This
one seems to be aggravating my IBS (Irratable Bowel Syndrome) and as a
result, I can't really face the idea of eating as it feels like rocks
going through my gut. There are other issues around it as well but as
you can imagine, theres only a certain degree of graphic that I think
should be here. Lets just say this, I am glad for the grab bars in my
bathroom or I would have nothing to grasp during particularly painful
moments!
Having IBS means that of course, I have to be
careful of certain foods that "trigger" the issue. Dairy seems to be the
big one for me and often eating milk or dairy can result in some
volatile reactions, cramping and (embarrassingly) wind. It can sometimes
be so severe that I would happily eat nothing at all for a few days
than have to suffer the pain of actually digesting food. This has been a
bit of an issue recently and as a result I feel run down and really not
well in myself. It doesn't help that my mind is giving me issues as
well and I have spent the last month constantly apologising to people
(mostly to Jace, even for something innocent enough like reaching over
to get something or just moving slightly). It is a bad habit of mine
and I think it is a part of me thinking that I did something wrong when I
probably didn't. I get very upset with myself more than anything I
think.
When I get run down, that's when my asthma
really gives me cause for worry. I think that my general health is off
colour at the moment and this worries me quite a lot as there is so much
going on around me at the moment too. I kind of feel like I can't get
this right and that I am unworthy of anything, my personal confidence is
currently down but I am trying my best to make this better. Even if it
seems hard at times. I'm trying to find positives in things even on days
where I would sooner just crawl in to a hole and there are days like
that when things just seem to mount up. I feel at ease now because the
things that I was concerned about are sorted and things are getting
better. Thats the thing about life, as many curveballs as it throws, it
also throws good stuff your way too, you just have to keep your chin up
and remember that you have beaten things before. You will beat them
again.
Oh, and give yourself something to look forward
to. For me, its the Sephiroth promo foil card that Jace helped me
negotiate with a seller for. There were only 60 non-foils given out and
about 20 foils so this card is rare, its beautiful and its going to
enhance my deck in ways that we could only dream of! Of course this also
means that I now one of each Sephiroth card currently available!
Loves
Wendy xx
Quick Update
10 years ago
