Standing (well sitting) Tall...

I have been drawing once more and I have been doing some of my illustrations for my ADIM stories. Not only do I enjoy it and find the pictures bring my stories to life, but in some ways, I do find the process cathartic. I think its because of the process to draw the images and put a little of myself in there as well as the calmness of it that helps me greatly. I haven't been well recently and I think after a while it was starting to make me feel a bit down in the dumps. Its understandable really even if I don't like it,

I have found that being out of the house on my scooter, even if its just a rumble up to town, has given me a whole new lease of life. Its actually been a pleasure to go to the shops or just potter about town. There was admittedly a few small mishaps, but the more I do it, the more confidence I seem to get. Now I can confidently move around shops and can even get on buses with it (I am getting REALLY good at parking in the wheelchair space and can even get on and off without issues). Its good to feel more like myself again and my quality of life has improved vastly. The change in me has been outstanding. On Sunday, I even went out by myself without any fear or worry. OK I was going to see an emergency doctor, but I felt so much more able and I do think that this was worthwhile.

I actually like going outside and going and living my life in a way that makes me very happy. Its been 3 or 4 years now since I have been able to get out and live my life without the fear of my asthma or my painful back, Dr Pike had suggested this a few years ago, but I am notorious for my stubborn nature and not wanting anyone to see me as less of a person because I rely on my mobility aids. People are even understanding more and I am getting less judgmental comments from people (the old fat guy over the road has taken to sneering when he sees me, but to he honest, I couldn't care less about what he has to say, hes just a jealous old man who just wants to make everyone as miserable as he is), I have also managed to make the scooter a bit more my own style with a well placed decal, and a few other things that officially mark my scooter as mine. I'm never giving up my independence again.

I even LOOK like me again and when I smile, its warm, friendly and inviting and when I laugh out loud, its been so much of a change in me. I forgot I think about laughing and enjoying my life. Being unwell all the time, it does get easy to forget about the nice things in life, but earlier, as we were walking to town and Becky was playing with my speed control, I actually laughed out loud! I was having such fun! My vibrant, bright red hair blowing behind me as I wore my favourite black trench coat with a cheerful shirt under it! I even saw my ex, who has FINALLY left me alone and I trundled past without ANY fear. That to me was probably one of the most important parts as I now finally felt strong enough to not even bat an eyelid. Then again, an email I sent not too long ago made it quite clear on how I feel and how I didn't want this person in my life ever again. I just carried on with my life as if there was no one in my way. Well really, no one is in my way. Not anymore. I had a lot of fun going up the hill and go shopping with Becky. As I said, it's great to get back to being me again. I'm actually looking forward to things again and in particular, my birthday on Sunday is going to be fantastic. I'll be spending time with people I care about and next Friday, we will be adding another member to our entourage. Becky's boyfriend Allen will be arriving in England, I really hope he likes it here! And before we know it, Jace will be moving in with us too.

Loves
Wendy xx