Loose Ends...

Today has been a day of tying up all those loose ends that have, as of late been working on my last nerve and strand of sanity. It's mainly been things like paying bills and other things, but they're things that really annoy me. The main annoyance is how far behind I had gotten on things because of one reason or another, to be quite frank, I really don't care about the specifics anymore. Wallowing in the past and trying to work out who did what and why is really not profitable to anyone so instead of that, I want to just focus instead on putting the wrong things right and learning from the past. Learn from our mistakes and make the choice to go forward and make sure that the same traps aren't fallen in to again.

That is my biggest priority now. Getting back in to the black from what was quite substantial debt because of life in the YMCA, barely making ends meet and having to sell things just to get by. It's not something I EVER EVER want to go back to and I don't intend on falling in to the same traps over and over again. I have a future to plan and a life that I have worked my ass off to get back to. My support worker really helped me to turn my life around after everything that the last 2-3 years had taught me. I will admit freely that I often let myself get caged and that began to affect me in profound ways. My support worker really helped me turn it all around. I mean majorly.

I've been adapting to life with this condition and I really feel confident in myself again. I've been looking after myself and eating better. I've been enjoying evenings where I can just lie in bed with a DVD on, my PSP running and a pot of tea at my side. Heck even my asthma is a bit better these days, (bar a few hic-ups but I have been handling well) and my confidence is growing. I finally managed to do an emotive portrait on asthma and how it makes me feel, how it affects me and the dark rings around the eyes are symbolic of how exhaustion is a major part of my life. My Lung Function is about 60% and there are days when I don't feel like getting out of bed, let alone running around after others. You can see and even feel the fear in my eyes. The pain of what a bad day can leave me with. I love how it came out. It took a few attempts to get it right.

Loves
Wendy xx